Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:patronus_charm says:
Ah, your chapter image = ♥ ♡ It really reminded me of why I want to get back to making graphics!

I have to admit, when you first mentioned the war I assumed you meant WWI as it seemed the most logical but I was pleasantly surprised when you meant a different one. My historical knowledge of the 19th century is rather poor, but I can only imagine this has something to do with Napoleon from what I remember from reading Vanity Fair. Oh well, it gives me something to research after!

I was really intrigued to see what Helen was going to be like because I remember you saying in one of your MTA answers that she was hard for you to write, but I really enjoyed reading her. She just has this cynical nature about her but I could tell that there was something else about her too. I really enjoyed her narration too, because I am big fan of your first person narration, and it was almost comedic at times which was really great.

Though, I can see why she could be hard at times with some of her comments such as the one about Gwyneth not being made for life and having to portray someone almost heartless at times could be tricky. Oh well, Iíll just treat her with trepidation for now.

The characterisation of Helenís parents was fantastic with their single goal of getting their daughter married highly appropriate. Canis Malfoy also sounds intriguing and I canít help but wonder whether heís all that meets Helenís eye. It just seems too obvious for him to be boring. My current ideas are either secretly evil or bursting to break free, but Iíll have to wait and see.

Her motivation for going to Egypt was really fitting as I really got a sense of her independent spirit when she was selecting which place she would escape to. Also, I canít help but wonder whether her father will somehow end up pulled into her adventure with these banking interests.

This will have to be my last review for tonight, as I have to go and revise the Russian Revolution which is really interesting, but nothing like Ancient Egypt :( Oh well, this was a really excellent start to the story and I canít wait to read on!

-Kiana

Author's Response: You actually caught my typo - when I was editing, I actually typed 1818 instead of 1918. That's what comes of writing 1800-something too many times in my work. I'm sorry for the confusion that it caused.

I'm really glad to hear that you like the first person narration of this story. :D Helen is harder to write because she's very opinionated and evasive, so her version of the story thus becomes very narrow and constructed. When I first started writing this story, I wanted to challenge myself to write a more complex version of first person narration - the unreliable narrator whose personal opinions and careful telling of the story often get in the way of the actual telling. There are many somethings about herself that she wants to keep back from readers, but clues still work their way into her narrative despite her best efforts. It's best to take some of the things she says with a grain of salt - yet there are other instances where her opinions actually work in her favour. It's definitely a challenge to find the right balance with her.

Her family doesn't really come back into the story, except her in recollections and nightmares. There is something that Canis has done that haunts her, and it affects the way she reacts to things later on. I'm still trying to decide whether I want the events of this chapter to have a greater influence on the story. At the moment, it's primarily here for backstory to show where Helen has come from and why she is as she is.

Thank you again for reading and reviewing! It's wonderful to hear your feedback on my stories. ^_^


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 251
Submit Report: