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Review:loveinidleness says:
Hello,
A beautiful second chapter. Once again your imagery and descriptions are divine. You've made your world so darkly vivid and it's a pleasure to read.

The pace of the piece is quite slow at the moment but, to be honest, I really like that. It feels like the beginning of a mystery, a dark plot that we're only on the verge off. You excel at creating tension and intrigue with your careful foreshadowing of things to come" Regulus lying, Barty stirring, Malfoy's letter to name but a few. You're already putting your readers in the position where they can develop their own theories and ideas about what's going on. You'll have fanfiction about your fanfiction before long.

Some of your descriptions I did feel were a touch oddly phrased. The one that really stood out to me was if sirius had been young he would have gone to seek comfort for 'two, three or seven minutes.' That just slightly threw me.

I love the way you're writing Sirius. You're not making him a perfect Gryffindor that can do no wrong. He's proud, he's not totally against his family even though he doesn't fit in and he's stand-offish. I love this. It makes him so much more realistic and readable and I can see how your Sirius could grown into the character from the books we all know and love.

Amazing work.

Author's Response: Hey there - thanks so much for coming back again! :)

I'm so glad you like the imagery and descriptions - I know I put a lot in, so it makes it better :P

Yeah, the pace is slow - but pretty much everything I write it pretty slow-paced, lol. Gah, thank you so much for the compliments - I'm so happy you like it and think it works. I've never written a murder mystery before, or even a mystery, really, so this was a bit of a challenge! Mah, that's such a wonderful thing to say! :) Thank you so so much for that!

Ah, okay! Thanks for pointing that out - I'll definitely take another look at some of them, particularly that one.

Thank you! :) I love Sirius as a character, mostly because we get to see so many of his flaws in the books and I love exposing them and making them stand out, haha. I'm really enjoying writing him so I'm glad you like reading him! :)

Thank you so so much for the lovely review! :)

Aph xx


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