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Review:marauderfan says:
Review tag!

I liked this chapter! Your portrayal of Snape and Lily as kids is really adorable, and you've captured that childhood friendship so well. They'll get annoyed at each other, but at the end of the day they're still best friends and enjoy playing on the swings together. It's cute. And it's evident how much hope Snape has that everything will work out for him and Lily. :( I almost feel sorry for him.

You have some lovely descriptions of the setting in here too - I loved the line about the cherry trees and a haze of pinks and greens, it was such a pretty image.

The only thing I think might help the chapter would be some sort of tie-in to Harry's reading it. Since it's supposed to be Snape's diary, a few lines in the beginning about Harry opening the journal might be nice, or something to tie it into the previous chapter. Or a bit more of Snape's thoughts, so the reader is reminded that it's his story. Anyway, really well done - great work! :)

Author's Response: Hello Kristin :) Sorry for this incredibly late response *looks away in shame*

I'm glad you liked my portrayal of them. I really was trying to capture the childish innocence in his thoughts and in their relationship. I'm glad it seemed to have worked :)

Aww :) Thanks so much. I'm forever trying to improve with descriptions, so this really makes me happy :)

I actually wanted it to remain in third person. I was going for a different kind of style than the other stories I've read with diary entries. But what you say makes sense. It would be a god-tie in. I'll consider your suggestion when this goes through edits.

Thanks for this lovely review :)


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