Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:patronus_charm says:
Hey Rose, back again through RRT!

I really loved the inclusion of all things canon with Hope, Lyall and Babbity Rabbity it was just such a great touch and made Remusís early life really believable. Another thing that worked was how you used things to your advantage by weaving them into the story rather than just forcing them onto us and that worked really well.

Toddler/child Remus was adorable! He was just so lively and clever Ėessentially just how I imagined him to be so he was a delight to read. I think that fact made the story all the more tragic because he had really grown on me in this story and to have that horrible thing happen to him made me just want to cry out and save him. It really was great characterisation there.

One minor thing, if you could thin the line break down a bit it would be great as the current, thick one proved to be a little distracting at times :)

The interaction Remus had with his parents was really fitting and their playful dialogue meant that they bounced off one another really well and I really got a sense of who they were. The use of truth or lies was great too and the most haunting one was definitely the one about mum and dad being tired and how they thought they could still save him. Just the way your portrayed it here was so poignant it made me want to cry!

Another small thing, ĎďTell me about the wizard and the princess.Ē his son asked stretching out. Ď it sounds a little odd so perhaps change the full stop to a comma or exclamation mark and the asked to demanded as that seems to make more sense in my head :)

I donít even want to talk about the next section, itís simply too sad! The way Remus thought the beast was going to play with him and his innocent thoughts and then those terrible screams, it was just horrible! I just have these images swirling in my mind about it and they wonít go away. It was some excellent writing though no matter what it made me feel.

The ending :í( I just donít know what to say, itís so sad. I think Iím going to need a lot of chocolate to recover now. ♥

A fantastic one-shot though :)


Author's Response: Hi Kiana!! It made me so happy to get three incredible reviews from you yesterday!! You have no idea. ^_^

I was really greatful for the recent Pottermore info on Hope and Lyall - it was really helpful in making them come to life. It's really nice to hear that I pieced their life together well. It's always tempting to spew out "this is everything I know about them." But that would be a wiki article not a story ^_^

Yes! I had hoped that making him so darn cute and loveable would make his bite later that much sadder. ^_^ I'm kind of a mean author. Kind of very mean at times. (What was funny is that when I wrote this I described it to my husband as giving the reader extra stabs - so when I read your Lily/Remus fic I loved it all the more because we both use stabs when we write).

I need to check why the lines were so thick. I'm not positive I want them in there anymore (not because of the thickness but I think it would work with just the line breaks).

ah, it makes me really happy that Remus and his parents flowed well. I wanted them to seem like a loving family. I wanted the lies to be a bit haunting (especially the one about being tired). I am sorry (and thrilled) it made you want to cry.

I didn't want the bite part to be pleasant to read (so I take it as a huge compliment that it shook you a bit). I felt like a mean person writing it and it was a bit emotional for me to think through.

I hope chocolate helped after the ending. I had hoped it would be quite jarring for people to read.

Thank you so much for this review - I am very glad you liked it (that means a lot coming from you ^_^).


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 771
Submit Report: