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Review:APerkins says:
aww Im so excited!! Ive been hanging around for ages waiting for an update, I go away for a fortnight, come back and there are 2! yay!

Ok: praise points: love the aftermath of the argument, the endlessly going over it. Love the fact that HECTOR of all people becomes Mels go to person.

Im also really interested in the way death eaters are a "thing" as in the type of thing that you come home and tell your parents about. Like it is something you "join". Its not something I had thought about. Like Voldy started a club. I kinda just figured it was people that hung around him and stuff as opposed to anything really formal, but after reading how you right about the situation, of course it would be more formalised than that - they have a name! And they would have been recruiting fairly openly. Its really cool to think about that type of thing.
I like the story line and the fact that there is a plot developing. I have been enjoying the fluff but I always love a bit of conflict, so it was good to see Mel and sirius fighting too. :) Maybe I'm just mean.

In terms of their argument itself, I really liked it, but felt it ended one line too short - like Sirius calling her a b** after she said "whatever" was a little premature, it could have had one more line on both their parts - one more insult flung. I know the fight is meant to spring from nothing (and I think you have done that part well) but B** it is the strongest language you have used in the story so far and as such it is jarringly shocking. (that is terrible grammar on my part.)

Also I am so glad that the watermelon head person was portrayed as innocent and the trick started to seem a little meanspirited! Again, I might just be a mean person, but it was kinda nice to see Mel feeling a little bad about it ... It transformed the trick from funny to something only a Slytherin would do and laugh over (however unintentional), and these are the nice slytherins. I thought it was well done in creating a solid characterisation of the house too.

Anyway enough waffle, I wanna go read the next chapter.
Ps fave colour is RED!

Author's Response: Omg! You are my favourite person ever. It was so nice to see these reviews from you today! ♥

Yeah I think the Death Eaters would have been something to aspire to, at least in the minds of many of the purebloods who sided with Voldemort. And especially in Charlotte's family, since Avery Sr was one of the first DE's.

Originally that argument was longer but I felt that it dragged on too much. The way I see him, I don't think Sirius is the type for a long argument anyway, so after Melanie was dismissive of him, he threw an insult and stalked off to be moody, lol. (The one occasion of that word is the reason why I had to change the language warning to "strong" - that's as strong as it gets :p )

Thanks, I really appreciate what you said about the watermelon thing. That's exactly what I was trying to show - it wasn't intentional, although they did laugh at it; but as viewed by the other houses it could seem like an unkind prank. I was trying to get that balance of them being caring people but still being Slytherins - so I'm really glad you thought it's a solid characterisation. :)

You are awesome! (And red is a great colour, although my fave is green!) Thanks again for your amazing review. ♥


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