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Review:patronus_charm says:
Hi Isobel! Iím here with your review :D

Sorry I couldnít help but laugh at this line ĎOut of all of us, Lucy was the misfit.í Is Lucy secretly you? :P

The one major thing I did have an issue with was the length of time it took for me to find out who the narrator was. At first I thought it could have been Rose due to the multiple mentions of Albus and them being the same age, and then I just kind of sat there in confusion until you said towards the end of the first section Lilyís name. I mean, I really, really loved her narration as it was so much better than how Iíve usually seen it but if you just slip her name in a little earlier it would be excellent.

One thing that stood out to me was how varying peopleís reactions were to Hugo and Lucy being vampires and that was really great. I have this really vivid scene before me now, and even though itís not a topic I should really be laughing about I just canít help it because the characterisation of the people there was really fantastic.

The varying length of sections in this one-shot really added to it because it meant we got lots of perspectives of Lilyís life and made for an interesting read. I almost preferred the shorter ones because those quick snapshots really conveyed a lot.

The scene between Lily and Hugo was really heart-warming as I almost didnít think that they would see one another again. It also contained some great vampire-related description which added a lot to the scene! The only bad thing is that now itís got me all worried for Hugoís sake that Lucy will never forgive him and itís making me mentally run around in panic :P

I was about to mention the Cluedo and then I saw it in your AN which gave me a legitimate excuse to :P I really loved it (and it had nothing to do with my obsessive love for the gameÖ) as it fitted really well with the whole mystery and suspense theme of the story and it tied in well with the end and all of Lilyís possible theories about what she could do and reminded me of the crazy ones in Cluedo!

You asked whether this could stand alone or not, and I think Iím more towards the no side. At first it made sense even though the sudden news of them being vampires was a bit of shock I could still wrap my head around it, then Jeremiah appeared and as I donít know what Lily had told me it left me wondering what she could have said to cause all of that. The suspense was great though and it definitely left me intrigued so donít be surprised if you have several readers going off to read the Bite Club now though!

It was a really enjoyable read though even though reading the Bite Club would make it have a lot more sense as I would get the references about why Lily possibly caused the transformation. I hope this does help in some way though, Isobel! Also, if you spot any typos I apologise I need sleep desperately! ♥

-Kiana

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