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Review:marauderfan says:
Hi there. Here with your requested review, and I apologise for the delay!

My goodness, what an ending! I want to talk about the rest of the chapter but I'm still freaking out about the end. I didn't see that coming. She is awful! Assuming of course that the information from David Dale is correct. I was surprised that it seemed deliberate, I wouldn't personally have jumped to that conclusion so soon, so I wasn't expecting to read that it was deliberate, and her boss set it up! OMG

Part of me is still thinking that Delilah didn't actually set it up, and she's just getting blamed for it. I don't know. It just seems fishy that David waited until Dom asked him about it, rather than apologising from the beginning. Either way I don't like Delilah, though.

I like the way you've updated the magical world a little and that it doesn't always stay the same, but is still definitely magical. The instant portkeys not controlled by the Ministry are a really nice touch.

I think it made sense that Teddy lost his temper, too. He has been nothing but patient with her and she's still being quite distant, so I wasn't too surprised. Glad they worked it out though :)

You're doing wonderfully at conveying the emotions of the characters, and all the complications of the werewolf bite. The only thing I'd suggest you take a look at again is some of the dialogue. There's a part where Fleur says "Yes you're my dear," which should probably be "Yes you are, my dear." And when Dom is talking with Teddy he calls her incredibly stupid, which I don't think he'd be quite that insensitive when she's feeling awful.

Anyway, that aside, you've done well on this chapter! You know, until you mentioned in the author's note, it had totally slipped my mind that Louis isn't in the story, haha. I think it works just fine without him. He could be off travelling or something, maybe he just wasn't living at home - I didn't think it weird that he's not there.

Great work!

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing. No problem =)

Yeah, Delilah is pretty awful. We'll see the reasons in the next chapter.

David is an arrogant cocky man and he is not interested in other people's welfare. He won't help someone of his own accord unless someone asks him for help.

I am glad you liked the little detail about the portkeys.

Teddy is only human after all and he was bound to lose his temper some time.

I am pleased to hear that the emotions of the characters are coming across well. English is not my native language so I tend to mess up my dialogues so thanks for pointing that out. I'll go back and edit.

It's a relief that you don't find Louis' absence weird.

Thank you!


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