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Review:loveinidleness says:
Hello,

Ive just found your story and Im already addicted. You have an exquisite writing style and I clicked from chapter one to chapter two without hesitation. I love the way you stick to the third person writing style that J.K used but you still manage to quickly build an intimate connection between the reader and Ginny (Im taking notes).

I really admire your characterisation especially as I think Ginny is a hard character to take on. In the original books Ginny is so pivotal but we dont know her as much as the golden trio. As a result, when you read Ginny Fanfic she is often disconnected from the girl we knew in the books or she even becomes a red-haired Hermione. Especially by setting it during the Hogwarts years you gave yourself a real challenge but I really felt like I knew your Ginny.

I love your Colin Creevy. It gave me a jump when he joked with Ginny because he is so strongly associated with COS in my mind I sort of forgot he grew up and is Ginnys age. Although it stopped my heart for a second because I know whats coming. I think its a wonderful character to use and youve written him perfectly. (Can he still have a camera though? It might be a nice little throwback)

Of course Ive only read two chapters so I dont know how youve planned out the plot progression but I was wondering about the character growth in Neville. Even though he proves himself at the end of HBP that was still Harrys adventure and Harry saved the day. Neville hasnt been in a leadership position and yet from the very beginning of your story we see him be brazen, assertive, confident and even aggressive (in a good way of course). I totally agree that this is who Neville becomes but as a reader I would love to see that growth in Neville from a brave soldier in the DA to the leader, his realisation that he can stand in for Harry and he can do it well. By showing more uncertainty and worry in Neville early on, it will make his journey even more inspiring and engaging as he becomes our heartthrob hero :P.

This is of course just a suggestion and if it doesnt work with your plot development of course ignore it. It really is a tiny thing.

The flow and pace of your chapters work really well and youll have to let me know when Chapter 3 is up!

Also sorry about my lack of apostrophes they are coming up as I’ve so to prevent confusion ive just excluded them.

Author's Response: Hi there! I was confused for a bit, this piece of mine hasn't gotten any attention in awhile, I didn't realize people were still reading! I do have a few more chapters planned out, and after seeing that someone was waiting for an actual chapter 3, I've started the first draft. It's a bit longer than the others, but some pretty good stuff ensues, that's for sure. I do have a character progression planned for Neville, and he will be a bit hesitant to take the leadership role at first. (Just a tiny spoiler...) He isn't going to want to be the leader first, Ginny is of course the first one that will pop into mind. Her character just doesn't have the drive and patience to be the leader of an actual organization, I love her, I do, but Ginny charges into action on impulse too often in order to be put in charge or something. Her double-or-nothing attitude is a bit risky for most. She'll start a rebellion with her reactions, but as the catalyst and not the mastermind.

Anyways, chapter three will probably be edited tonight, and then posted tomorrow, so we're looking at about 1 week before it goes through validation and what not. +] Noticed you said you were taking notes, if you ever need a beta reader, let me know!


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