Hello, here with your requested review!
I thought this was really beautiful. I was especially impressed with the way you communicated Regulus's voice - his love for Mary was really tangible, and I liked how it was kind of rough around the edges and not super maudlin like in a traditional "love letter." His personality really came through for me, like in this particular section:
Maybe one day I'll find out Voldemort's secret, and then I'll kill him, just for you, like a present, so he knows even Muggleborns can be powerful, if you've killed him from beyond the grave. But then maybe I won't. Maybe I'll never do another thing that means anything for as long as I live. Maybe you took all the best parts of me with you.
I just love his ambivalence and the way he can't seem to commit to what he wants to do - he only knows he wants to do something desperate. It's great foreshadowing for the actions he eventually takes, as well as a good way of looking at his decision to join the Death Eaters in the first place. You really spoke volumes about who he is!
I think the letter format and secondary characterization works well, too. It seems like the purpose of the story is for Regulus to reflect on his feelings about his lost love, and so these creative choices make sense. He's writing her a letter because he can't talk to her in person anymore. He's clearly made her the object of his thoughts and actions in this moment, and so his perception of her is bound to be a little skewed toward the good. I also like that he considered her potential reactions to what he's writing, because it suggests that he really knew her intimately and had a very close bond with her, albeit a rough and tumble one.
I have no crit - hopefully that's not a problem. I'd encourage you to write in this style again because I think you have a good handle on it. Hopefully this review is helpful to you :)
Author's Response: Oh my gosh, this is such a lovely review! I was really worried about posting this fic because I've never read or written anything in a style like this, so it means a lot that it seems to be effective!
Eek, quote reviews are the best reviews. Fun fact: I wrote almost the whole fic in one go, then pasted it into the 'new chapter' thing on here and read through it to do the formatting, and, in that read through, suddenly wrote that quote out of nowhere. I never write straight into the chapter thing on here so I don't know what suddenly inspired me with that section, but I'm glad you like it! I honestly was really trying to convey just how lost Regulus is at this stage - though he would have had a lot of torn loyalties when Mary was around, without her he doesn't really have anything to hold onto. I'm glad you picked up on his indecisiveness, and desperation, because that's really what I was trying to get across with his character.
No crit! I'm very flattered! I'm actually considering writing a sequel to this, because these characters have become very stuck in my head and I keep having more things I want to do with them, so I'm glad you liked the style so much because I may well be writing in it again :D
Thanks for the lovely review, it was really helpful :)