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Review:CambAngst says:
Hi, Kiana!

This story was really original, to say the least. I think it's the first one I've ever read that made Lily and Remus a romantic pairing. For all the reasons you list near the beginning -- they're both bookish, quiet, responsible and intellectual -- it makes a great deal of sense. In spite of those things, it's rarely done. I'm really curious about what brought the two of them together in your mind.

You did a terrific job of capturing disparate elements of Remus's personality. Again, it's kind of unusual to see him being hopeful, fulfilled and happy. In the books, even after he gets together with Tonks, there's still a pessimistic quality to his temporary happiness. Like he's always waiting for that other shoe to drop and Tonks to realize that he really is too old and too poor and too dangerous. This story actually fits in brilliantly with that part of his personality. It's one possible explanation for how he learned to be so skeptical of true love.

Lily comes off a bit mercurial. She's obviously not quite in the same emotional place as Remus. "Have you ever been kissed?" was sort of a prophetic line. Not, "I want to kiss you," not "kiss me, you fool!" but a question born out of personal insecurity and a desire to experience certain things with a "safe" friend. Sigh. Poor Remus simply doesn't grasp the difference until it's too late.

I only saw one place where I'd suggest a bit of editing:

Remus looks at her fingers and sees them tremble slowly as they are raised higher and higher until they brush against his face. The oval tips brush across his face, darting from here to there. -- You say "brush against his face" in consecutive sentences, which reads kind of awkward. I'd suggest picking a different phrasing in one or the other.

Otherwise, your writing was fantastic. Hats off to you and your editor. (Two hats off to you, if you did your own editing. ;)

Very nice job. I really enjoyed it!

Author's Response: Hi Dan!

I've always had a soft spot for the pairing with the reasons that you listed, and then a couple of days ago I stumbled across a Lily/Remus one-shot, and while I loved it, I thought they viewed Lily with rose-tinted glasses so I wanted to give the pairing my own shot with a darker side to her.

I'm so glad that you liked his character as I was worried it was a little too OOC. I would like to think he was happier back then, as he hadn't gone through the war and losing all his friends which caused him to act like that with Tonks, but I suppose we'll never know.

Yes, she does! I'm not Lily's biggest fan as I think she's often seen with rose-tinted glasses and I rarely see the darker side to her, so I had a little too much fun making her not so nice here :P I think that's an issue with Remus and his trust, he never really learns.

Ooh thank you for pointing that out! After looking at this for countless hours I'm not surprised I missed that one out as editing drives me insane! I did do my own editing, so thank you!

Thanks for this amazing review, Dan!

-Kiana


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