Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:academica says:
Hello, here for our review swap!

Aww, poor Lily! She got dragged into a party she didn't even really want to attend and now she's going to wind up revising for exams with a guy who's bound to constantly distract her by flirting. I do kind of feel bad for her, because it doesn't seem like her friends have her best interests at heart by forcing her into all this. Doesn't she have any friends who are more bookish and disciplined like she is?

I think this is a good start to your story, and you can make it even better by taking care to really make the characters your own in future chapters. Right now I see a lot of themes that are really common among Marauder stories - Sirius as a dreamboat, the Marauders as party animals (no pun intended!), and Lily's temper beginning to boil over at the very mention of James. I think it would be cool to surprise the reader in the next chapter by including some more unusual features. For example, you could have Peter figure really prominently, or show that somehow Lucinda has mis-perceived Sirius's intentions.

Nice work so far, and good luck :)

Thanks for the swap!

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hi Amanda, thank you for the review (and for the swap, rudely forgot to say thanks in my review to you!)

Yeah, poor Lily! But in her own little way Lucinda does have Lily's interests at heart with this, she wants to help Lily de-stress before the exams... maybe she's just going about it the wrong way ;) And Lucinda is usually more bookish and disciplined like Lily but she is a bit out-of-sorts because of Sirius's invitation!

I'm glad that you thought this was a good start, despite the common themes ;) I had to smile when I saw your ideas for more unusual features for future chapters - It was like you had climbed into my head and read my plans for this story!! You haven't learnt the art of Legilimency have you ;) haha! Peter will be playing a prominent part in this fic, and I think his role will be a surprise! Also, Lucinda has not exactly mis-perceived Sirius's intentions... but all is not as it seems ;) Also, from your comments about the revision with James, I think you'll be surprised by how that plays out ;)

Thanks again for the great review!

Haronione ♥


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 917
Submit Report: