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Review:GubraithianFire says:
Somehow this felt more like a filler-y chapter to me, and I'm not sure if you meant it to be. There seemed to be a lot of telling with the lead-up to the closing of Hogwarts; it's all great stuff, but the momentum wasn't quite there. Once we got into Scorpius and Albus' confrontation, it picked up again, because you write the dynamism of their relationship so well that it pretty much excuses the slightly slower pace and (very) slightly lowered stakes at the party.

I remember that in my first review I wanted to say that Albus reminded me of some other fictional hot psychopath who scared the living daylights out of me, but I couldn't remember who he reminded me of. I didn't remember for another few weeks, but now I do: J.D. from Heathers. Your Albus reminds me of that mass murdering crazy hot person who made me so uncomfortable I barely made it through the movie. (I'll be very honest and say that I'm mostly reviewing now so I can tell you that JD reminds me of Albus -- unless I have something specific to say, I don't tend to review, cough). I don't know how far Albus is going, but obviously murder and warfare and horrible stuff are all in the cards, and that scares me too, because your writing is no less visceral than a graphically violent movie. It means something when Albus is torturing animals and Obliviating poor girls' memories (poor, poor Daphne -- I really liked her for those few moments even if the scene itself didn't quite do it for me); it's kind of expected at this point that he would treat animals and girls the way he does, but it still hurts, and that every new escalation of violence or manipulation doesn't feel like a retread of what we've already seen speaks really highly of this story.

I still do think this one felt like filler, and I think that might be because of the lack of Rose. Again, I understand why we're not always going to see her, but this chapter feels kind of odd without her; she is her own brand of crazy, but she's also kind of a grounding presence, and without her, Albus feels even less human than usual. Scorpius is a great supporting character, but this relatively early in the fic, he's not quite an anchoring presence for the reader (and clearly, not for Albus either). I'm sure we'll see much more of him in the future, but it's just something to keep in mind for now.

All that said, I'm so excited to dig deeper into this story! Fabulous job :)

Author's Response: I definitely know what you mean about this being a filler chapter--it is. I wasn't very happy with it; it is a bit slower than I wanted and a lot of it has to do with that party scene. I went a little overboard writing Albus' interaction with a girl that wasn't his cousin haha. For all those readers who want romance!

Yikes! I should probably watch Heathers now, shouldn't I? To see who this crazy hot mass murderer is. Is it weird that I maybe based Albus off the Joker from dark knight and Norman bates from Psycho (but younger and hotter). haha, probably not healthy.

Yes, Albus is slowly teetering-tottering a very wicked path. A lot of it has to with that fact he thinks his actions are justified. He sees himself as a scientist and has a very ends-justify-the-means approach to things and though he feels a flicker of disgust time to time, he surpresses it quickly enough. He is becoming less human isn't he? We'll see where that goes ;)

I agree that Rose tends to make the plot move forward. We'll be seeing more of her next chapter. Thanks for reviewing again! I really appreciate it!


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