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Review:BLONDEbehaviour says:
Hello!

I'm so glad you re-requested for this! I'm really starting to enjoy the story, as I am loving that we are seeing the parts of Draco and Hermione that are from a time that we knew little.

In regards to that, your characterisation on the two characters are really good!! I think you have Hermione and her temper/sadness well spotted! And Draco, there is definitely that conflicted sense there that you portray that was evident in him in the 6th book, and you do a great job at that. So you characterisation blows me away!

The overall plot of the story is good as well, you don't rush any scene, and they don't feel cut-off by the lines because you've closed them well :)

There may be a bit more description thtat you could add in regards to the Slytherin Dorms when Draco can't sleep. Just so we can identify with what and where he is. Apart from that , your description is good also!!

I saw a coulple of lines that have a few spelling and gramma snags:

"Defintely," responded Lavender, with a giggle that made Hermione slap her like she had done to Malfoy years ago

perhaps put 'made Hermione want to slap"? because I'm not sure whether she did slap her or not!

"Hermione wondered whether two people could be so engaged with on another."

"on" just needs a "e"

"Sometimes it was Draco himself, with his pointed face so pale, or his mother shrieking with her blonde hair, precisely the shade of his own hair."

because you put "hair" once before, you probably do not need the next one :)

In regards to all that, really good! I am definitely enjoying this one. Would love it if you re-requested :D

Grace xx

Author's Response: Grace! I'm so happy I re-requested too! It seems like this review has been one of the most helpful reviews I've gotten in a while! So thank you for pointing out all those typos! It's been a while since I've looked at it all, so yay! I'm glad I now have an excuse for rewriting some of the earlier chapters.

I'm so excited that I managed to get the characterization correct, and thank you for the tip on description - that is definitely something I'll try to go back and edit.

Looks like I have some work to do! Thanks for this awesometastic review, I'll re-request when I can :)

Nadia


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