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Review:BLONDEbehaviour says:
Hello! I'm here with your requested review :)

This is a good start! I really enjoyed it :)

I am liking Lexi alot! She's seems very fun, but logical. And her attitude is fantastic! You write her attitude and inner monologue really well :)

It will be interesting to see how the rivalry between her and Marauders originated, or whether it continues in such a harsh way. And how her and Sirius end up bonding, I'm sure there will be a good reason behind it, I can see them definitely getting together :P I would be careful about not making Lexi too 'well-sculpted' (does that make sense?) I think that she needs to have a flaw, as all good protagonists have a weakness in which they need to overcome through the story. So perhaps placing that in somewhere would be good. Other than that, you have created a great character!

I'm think also a bit more information about Lexi would be helpful. I know you bring in drips and drabs, and they work really well, but I'm thinking more like general information. What year is she, does she come from a wizarding background, those kind of things. Just so we are introduced to her a bit more and can famailise ourselves with her :)

In regards to the grammar and spelling and such, I saw no errors in which stuck out to me. A few sentences may be able to be re-phrased, if you have a quick beta look over this, or even just read it out loud it may help to identify that which could be improved :)

All in all though, I am intrigued! I'd love for you to re-request to see where you go with this :) Great start, keep it up!

Please respond to this review, thanks :)


Author's Response: Hi!
First, thanks so much for doing this!
Second, as for Lexi's flaw, I felt like throwing her big flaws out there in the first chapter might be a little Mary Sue so I left that to be brought in later on.
Third, as for a Beta, I am currently looking for one, so hopefully I can get that soon because that's a real problem for me (little mistakes, rephrasing, etc.)
Fourth, as for rerequesting a review, I definitely will, this was *extremely* helpful, thank you so much!
Finally, I wouldn't dream of not replying to a review I specifically asked for, especially one so helpful.
Thank you!

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