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Review:Phoenix Quill says:
Hi Haronione! Here with your review!

Wow, this is really good! I can definitely imagine Lily as being the one who crazily revises despite being super intelligent anyway, and the whole 'worried about Transfig, friend gets James to tutor her' setup is a good one to explain the sudden transformation from hatred to love between the two.

There isn't actually much for me to nitpick in here, which makes me quite happy! I didn't notice any errors, although I am prone to missing that sort of thing. Just one small thing, you said that Allison, Clare and Lucinda ran over to Lily, and Clare was never mentioned again. I don't know if she's just not talkative or if you've forgotten her. If you're going to put a name in there, please make her do something, even if it's just "Clare smiled tiredly at Lucinda's antics and left." Just something to give her a reason to be there.

Overall, a great beginning chapter and a good start for what I expect will be a fantastic short story!

Cheers, Phoenix Quill :D

Author's Response: Hi Phoenix Quill :) thank you so much for the lovely review!

I am glad you enjoyed it and thought it was a good opening chapter. Also, it's encouraging to hear that you like the tutoring plot line - I'm going to have a lot of fun with it :D so I hope you enjoy reading it!

I see what you mean about Clara. She does say one line about Sirius looking pleased, but I am going to edit to add her in a bit more. She is quite a shy, quiet character but I agree with what you said so will revise it.

Thank you for setting the challenge and for the story title that inspired me to write this :) I hope the rest of the story lives up to the expectations!!

Thanks again for the great review :D

Haronione ♥


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