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Review:marauderfan says:
Hey hey! marauderfan here with your review from the forums.

Wow- Aaliyah and all of her roommates are certainly drama-prone types. I can definitely see how arguments like that one would happen often, and how the girls just don't get on very well (so the division between Naomi and Gemma and the other three makes sense.) Annie seems to be the exception - she's a refreshing character after the drama of the other four, lol. I'm glad Aaliyah told her friends and didn't continue keeping secrets though.

The boys seem normal enough. Based on what we've seen of Seth so far I think he'd be a better boyfriend for Aaliyah than Albus is, but that's just me :p

Albus was kind of a jerk in this :p Of course, it could be Aaliyah's judgmental opinion of him, but even objectively I don't like him much at this point in the story (yes, I know, it's only the beginning though!). So I'm glad Aaliyah -even though she got stuck in this situation with him - is still not a pushover, and sets her boundaries.

I did notice that you switched verb tenses a number of times (occasionally within the same sentence), which kind of interrupts the flow. Since most of your narrative seems to be in present tense, maybe look back at it and change anything that's not a flashback/reflection on the past, into present tense.

Good work on this chapter!

Author's Response: Hi! Sorry for such a late response.

Well what can I saw Ravenclaws may be clever but that doesn't mean they like each other. There is always competition in the air with them. Annie was a character that I wanted to be different than the rest and I wanted her to stick out. So I'm glad that worked.

She did try telling them a partial truth but they still don't see the whole picture yet. ;)

All characters aren't supposed to likable just like all people aren't supposed to be likable. I guess I didn't want all the characters to be sweethearts, you know? And Albus can be a tough character to like at times but he'll pull through... hopefully. :P

I'll probably have to look back at the chapter. Thanks for the wonderful review.


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