Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:academica says:
Hey Susan! I know I technically owe you two or three chapters now in our long-term swap, but hopefully just one will do for now and I can catch up later when I have more time :)

Anyway, this chapter was excellent. I love how you let the action play out at the end, with Helen's suspicion building and then her discovery of Cadogan's body out on the deck. She's definitely starting to figure out what's going on, and I'm excited for her to confront Moody (hopefully, though it seems a fearsome feat) and truly get to the bottom of all the things she's experienced during her time in Egypt.

I also thought your portrayal of the love scene between Helen and Cadogan was very intriguing, because to me it displayed key elements of her characterization. She clearly is still not fully acclimated to life outside the sheltered, suffocating confines of her family home and the privilege that accompanied it. I can tell by the way she describes the action in that scene, with this sort of detachment, and the way she falls into a nightmare after the act is finished. In fact, I think the moment when she states that Egypt is just like the House of Black is her most lucid in the entire chapter--but she'll likely be forced to wake up in the face of current events. I would love to see her really transform and become a bit more wise to the world by the story's end; I think it'd be satisfying to her.

Excellent work! I'll be back, hopefully soon!

-Amanda

Author's Response: You don't need to worry about the swap at all - if you can't do it anymore, just say so. I think we've both become crazy busy with grad school (hence my own inability to keep up with review responses). It is lovely to receive reviews from you, though. ^_^

I'm glad to hear that the mystery is developing well - there are indeed a lot of questions, and even once those are answered, more questions arise. I always forget how complicated mystery plots can be, which is why it's taken forever for me to get on track with this one. But now it feels like it's going somewhere at last.

What you've said about the scene between Helen and Cadogan has given me an idea. I won't say too much about it until I see whether the idea actually works - there is a dream/otherworldly aspect that I think I can build upon to actually make this scene a more important part of the plot. At first, the scene was rather like something out of James Bond where the protagonist just allows it to happen, then wakes to find the other person dead. But I think there's more that can be done with it, and I thank you for giving me the idea! :D


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 928
Submit Report: