Hi Academica! I am sorry it has taken me a while but I am finally here with your requested review =)
Holy Moly. This was certainly an interesting and unique piece of writing! I absolutely loved it! You always give your own spin to the characters we know and have a certain a perception of, but this was certainly something very, very new and different, and something I enjoyed reading a lot.
I think you totally nailed your aim of writing a "darker" Lily. I loved how you picked up on her being treated like a possession by Severus and James, and built this up on that. It was very innovative, refreshing, and interesting.
Despite this being a 'darker' side of her, I still found the whole scenario pretty realistic, which is great. It seems plausible that a pregnant Lily would wonder about her life and happiness, and how the baby would affect it and such. It made sense that she would question herself and her choices of being married at eighteen and a baby at nineteen - she is barely an adult after all, and it is normal.
I also loved how she wanted to go back into her past/childhood - she is so reflective here which in my opinion suits her character. Her thoughts towards James and Severus are complex and vague, and I like that. It's like we know she's unhappy yet it's not completely explained which adds to the darkness and mystery of the situation. All those thoughts in fact made her so human - so different from her usual mary-sue portrayal of this happy, sunny girl.
A small detail I enjoyed here was how you didn't forget that Lily was a muggleborn. She wanted to confirm her pregnancy with both muggle and magical ways, which shows that though she is a witch and has spent a huge chunk of her life in the wizarding world, she hasn't left her muggle world behind. It is a detail that many writers often forget - making characters like Hermione, Lily etc. completely foregoing their muggle lives and identities, which irks me. You, on the other hand, have done just the opposite and i love that =)
Another aspect of this one-shot that enthralled me was how even after Lily accepted her child - thinking 'maybe my baby will even love me' - she still accepted it for her own selfishness. It was very much obvious from her thoughts, and then the part about it being 'her own little selfish hope' totally reinforced that, which was brilliant.
I'll forever keep rambling about everything I loved about this story and your characterisation of Lily if I don't stop now, so I'll wrap up xP Over all, your writing of a darker Lily came across as exceptional and very interesting, and I had a great time reading this. It did deviate from canon, but I'll say not too much, because after all Lily is only human, and what we see of her in canon is someone who has matured a lot already and seen a lot in life. The time this one-shot is set in, I think all her thoughts here really make sense, and only add to her character, not deviate from it.
So, I really loved this one-shot and I think you were amazing in both conceptualising and writing it. Your descriptions and imagery were awesome as always, and grammar flawless. The story flowed really well, especially the way you slipped from present to past and back in between, and it all made for a great read.
Again, I don't have any CC to offer you. Keep it up =)
Author's Response: Hey Angie! Thanks so much for this wonderful review. I'm glad you enjoyed the story enough to want to podcast it! That's so awesome :)
I'm happy that you liked my idea of a darker Lily. I still think of her as a good person, but I wanted to emphasize her young age and some of the fear and doubt she would probably have been feeling during this time. It's also great to hear that the theme of her wanting to be her own person and not to be possessed by anyone else came through okay and made sense to you here.
To be honest, the more I read reviews of this story, the more I'm convinced that I based a lot of Lily on myself. For one thing, I tend to look for things that are familiar to comfort me when I get upset or anxious, and I have definitely sat and wished I was still a kid with my mom sometimes when adult life is really, really difficult. Art imitates life sometimes, I guess :)
The comment about the baby being her own selfish hope was meant to represent Lily taking back her own life. No one is going to control her, not even the child growing inside her--instead, she's going to raise him as she chooses and accept his love while still maintaining her own independence. She's looking to recapture part of what she can't get back from her own childhood.
Again, I'm really pleased that you liked this. Thanks again for your amazing review :)