Hi, I'm back from review tag! :)
It's great to see you updating and getting back to this story, and I'm curious to see where it will go now that the characters are back at Hogwarts. I'm especially intrigued (of course!) by Ellie's special talent of seeing ghosts and how this will impact the story and the other characters. I liked getting to know her friends a little better, and her crush on James was just so cute and ironic, since I'm pretty sure this story is going to morph into an Albus/OC.
The breakfast scene with the shirtless boys and Ellie's disdain for them was hilarious, as was the idea of her father making her run. I think you've developed her snarky and witty voice very well, and she's certainly a compelling and entertaining character. :) I like Ben as well, and certainly am looking forward to seeing Regulus again!
I think my favorite line was "If Chris was Gandi, I was Moaning Myrtle." Ha!
I think you should consider putting a page break or * in when the chapter changes scene and jumps ahead in time, just to make it a little clearer! :) Also, I know sorting hat songs are really hard to write, but I'd have loved to know just what was said that was out of the ordinary- maybe think about including a short exert from the imagined song, just to introduce it a little more clearly? That way you wouldn't have to include the full song, but just a taster of how it was different this year.
I totally agree with Ellie, the Sorting Hat is very sinister! It reads minds... it sort of knows the future and foreshadows future struggles... it has rhyming skills... there is definitely something fishy about it! :P
Ellie's questions about how the school was founded were very intriguing, and definitely things that are unclear about Hogwarts. They serve a good opening to continue the story and delve even deeper to the mysteries of Hogwarts, and I'm curious to see how you will work with that! I think this chapter has progressed quite smoothly from the last two chapters, and I'm interested to see how the plot will continue to flow and the dynamics between the characters to continue. Keep up the great work! :)
Author's Response: Hello!
Ah, thank you so much! It was a bit of a challenge writing the first two thirds of this chapter, so I'm happy to hear that it was okay!
I really wanted Ellie to be a little snarky and sarcastic without making it sound really forced, which can happen sometimes. Yes! There's more Ben and Regulus to follow, for sure!
Goodness, that line gave me so much trouble, but I'm glad to see it was worth it!
Yes, a page break is REALLY needed - I must go back and fix that in the near future! And I would have loved to WRITE the song, except I can't rhyme at all, let alone have it make sense, so I chickened out and played it safe. I'm sorry!
I really hope all the foreshadowing I am doing actually leads in the direction I'm hoping to take this story...
Thanks for the wonderful review, and I'm sorry for the tardy reply!