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Review:toomanycurls says:
Really good fight between cousins. I like that Molly is pragmatic and focusing on her life as a quidditch player. I'm really enjoying the internal conflict as well as the character reveals you do here. This will sound weird, but the swearing you use is really good. Maybe it's because I'm from the US but I take two or ten tries at writing good insults that sound British.

The whole underdog team vibe is cool. I'm excited to see how the team develops in future chapters (or further in this chapter). Fitz and Molly have a ton of sparks between them (it's almost palatable).

I like seeing Fitz's insecurity and struggle to lead. It's very authentic.

"'weasley' is so non-specific" cracked me up

I really like their argument over training. They remind me of Bones and Booth (from the show Bones). The competitive but flirty behavior is awesome.

I'll keep an eye out for more of this!!

Author's Response: Heh. They do heckle each other. More of that is seen in "Sparks", from Roxanne's POV (and Hilarion's, who is rather afraid of Molly). Ah thank you so much - I'm American too and I try to make it sound British, though I know I will probably never manage to write like a native. That's ok, I make an effort.

Fitz is having a tough time. He knew how to be a star player, but he never had to lead a team without being able to demonstrate what they need to do. His shoulder is really a problem. More on that later. ;) I'm glad the sparks came across! I love a romance. They'd be flirty if they would stop butting heads. Maybe a bit flirty while they butt heads. ;)

Heh - Molly's a bit snarky. "Weasley" is rather non-specific though, there's so many of them. Thank you so much for reviewing!


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