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Review:Remus says:
Hey hey hey! Perelandra here from the forums with your review!

Ahhh, Luna stories. Those are always cute. The first thing I noticed about this was the great amount of description. While its always good to paint the picture, I felt like it was a tad, bit over done. Perhaps a bit rushed to describe everything. Speaking of rushing, the end also felt a bit rushed. On paragraph she's leaving him and the next she's getting married. It left me with a few questions! Haha! Like, how did they meet again? How did he find her? How did he propose? XD

The song lyrics, by the way, felt like they were getting lost with the rest of the text. So maybe centering them and making them bold would make them stand out a bit more.

Ned though! He sounds like the perfect match for our dear Luna. What little we saw of him, he felt like a perfect fit for her. Specially when he sort of fanboy a little bit on her.

Your story has a lot of potential. If you were to add a bit more when it comes to story details, it'll be fantastic. I didn't see any grammar issues at all so on that department you're fine. :)

Anyway! Thank you for letting me read this! :D And I hope this review was helpful.


Author's Response: Hi Rosie, thanks for the review :)

Description was something that was totally lacking in my writing so with this one it's what I tried to work on, I guess I'm still trying to find a balance :)

The challange was to refelct on her wedding day about how they met, so there had to be a little jump between the two, but I might look into going back and adding a little more into it and making the lyrics stand out a little more, thanks for the advice!

Ned was just so much fun to write, I wanted someone who was as quirky and individual as Luna but not the exact same person, I'm really glad you liked him :)

Thanks so much for the feedback!

Dee x

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