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Review:nott theodore says:
Hi Adi- I'm here with your requested review!

Okay, so this is the first Draco/Astoria story I've read and I'm excited about it. With a character like Astoria there's so much freedom in the way that you choose to portray her, and I'm intrigued by how you're going to develop this.

You portrayed the idea of first love and romance really well; the fact that Astoria had a crush on Draco when she was younger and in school was a really nice touch. I think that made it more realistic that Astoria reacted in the way she did when she saw Draco later on, and it rekindled the old feelings. However childish it sounds, you always hear of people never forgetting their first love, so it makes sense to me that Astoria would be feeling that way when she encounters her old crush again.

Your characterisation of Astoria is really interesting! I think it's easy to make people involved in the war either heroes or villains, whereas there were plenty of people who fell in between, who sat on the fence and did nothing but try and save themselves. Her reaction to it is even more interesting to me - the fact that the war has affected her in a way which causes her to seek refuge in the Muggle world. It's not something you'd expect a pureblood Slytherin to do, but I really like the idea.

The only real suggestions I'd make for improvement are that you could add a little more description into the chapter, just to enhance and balance the writing a bit more, since you've got a lot of information about what has happened in the past.

The relationship between Astoria and Daphne is interesting, and it seemed to be portrayed realistically as well. They don't agree on everything and they haven't even been in contact for a while towards the end of this chapter, but the relationship between them hasn't dissolved because of it.

I think my favourite thing about this was actually the way that Astoria was addressing Draco throughout the chapter, because it's not something I've seen done very often but you wrote it really well. I'll be interested to see if you're going to continue with that style of narrative in the rest of the story or switch.

I hope this review was helpful for you!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hi Sian :)

I know what you mean. I end up writing more about these characters because of the creative freedom! I've never written Draco/Astoria before, and there aren't too many stories revolving around them. I really can't say I've read anything about them.

Well, I do believe that first loves and first crushes are really special; it's something you'll never forget. I think it happens around us all the time, so I kind of extended it into fanfiction. Thank you for validating my thoughts on this one :) I was wondering if people would accept it.

I'm trying to establish her as a really unique person. Yes, she was a pureblood. But what if she regretted her actions? Or the lack of them? What if she wished that her family hadn't influenced her decision, even if it wasn't imposing in any way. I've always pictured Astoria as a strong woman with controversial views. I've touched upon that in this chapter too. I'm glad you found the characterization interesting :) I hope she was engaging enough as a person. I know I've explored some uncharted territory here. I'm glad you felt it worked! I'm so happy you liked the idea! :)

You do have a point. When I edit this (and it HAS to be soon because it is riddled with typos :/), I'll fix that up too. Try to add in some more description and not just history.

I think the bonds we have with siblings are special that way. It's harder to re-establish yourself or re-connect with someone when they're not your sibling. there's always something about being one's blood sister or brother! I intend to touch upon this more if I get the chance! I'm happy you found it realistic :)

Aw. :) Thanks, Sian. That's something I was incredibly nervous about actually. Because it isn't something I've tried before or even read. I do wish to continue with that style, even if it ends up being a challenge!

Thanks Sian! :) *gives you a bar of chocolate*
Your reviews are the BEST! :)


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