|Review:||Roots in Water says:|
Hello! It's Roots in Water here with your (much-delayed) review! I'm so sorry it's taken me this long to actually write this review. However, I am here now to write it, should you still wish to read it. Forgive me if I miss anything/have forgotten anything in the months since I last read this story.
I liked this chapter. For one, I really liked how at least part of it wasn't centered directly around Thalia. Instead, you used one of her friend's events as a basis to continue to develop Thalia's life. It was really nice to see because, of course, friends are an important part of your life and their life doesn't just involve supporting you; your life also involves supporting them. Does that make sense?
Her interaction with Sirius at the Quidditch pitch was nicely done- I've certainly been in that position where you know the person next to you, but you are (kinda awkwardly) not talking with them. And then the interaction with George... I can definitely see potential complications arising there. This will be interesting... Especially since only Lily is making the assumption that George probably is as well. It's actually rather unfortunate that boys and girls (men and women) cannot be friends with each other without at least some people thinking that there's a romantic element to it... But that will probably change in the years to come.
To further expand on my position that the Quidditch scene wasn't boring, I shall also say that I liked the insights/reminders of the goings-on in her friends' lives.
The library scene was interesting. As I haven't yet experienced a moment where you just couldn't look away from someone (in a romantic fashion), I couldn't really say whether or not that was realistic, or just a romantic trope... But either way, you used it effectively here to show the developing tension between Sirius and Thalia.
One quick thing: the phrase "Quidditch trials" should actually be "Quidditch tryouts" (I think).
As well, although I understand that this is Thalia's narration and consequently we are reading her thoughts as well as her actions, I felt that sometimes the change between topics was a little too abrupt, that her thoughts jumped around a little too much. However, the random thoughts seem to play a large role in her personality... Gah- I would suggest adding more detail to her thought path, but that might hinder the flow of the story. I'm sorry that this comment isn't very helpful...
All in all, I do think that this was an enjoyable chapter! Great work and I hope that you found my comments helpful! Thank you for requesting a review and once again I'm so sorry for the delay in its delivery!
Author's Response: Hello, Roots! Don't worry about the wait, it's the fact that you still made it over here which counts :D
I'm glad that you liked the emphasis on friends on this one, as I spent a while editing it trying to make that point come through. I get what you mean about it, so don't worry!]
The interaction was a lot of fun to write, because I have been in those situations far too often and could base it on those painful memories. As for her and George, I won't say much more. I know what you mean, because her and Sirius do go through a stage of friendship after what happened later on.
Yay the Quidditch scene was boring! I always feel that they're going to be, as I hate them :P
Gah that library scene. Don't remind me! I wrote it back in my old, naive days but as the consequences of that kept on appearing later on I can't eliminate it. At least you got what I was trying to convey!
Ooh, thanks, I'll edit that asap!
I know what you mean, because this chapter was edited a lot in recent days so with such intense editing it must be hard for continuity to remain, so I'll give it another read through to make sure it does.
Thanks for a great review, it was really helpful, and honestly, don't worry about the delay!