|Review:||Roots in Water says:|
Hello! This is Roots in Water here with your (much-delayed) review! I'm so sorry that it's taken me so long to respond to your request. I can only say that real life has been a bit crazy...
Anyway, I'm here now. Hopefully you don't mind and would still like for me to review this chapter.
This chapter was certainly interesting. I particularly found George's substance abuse fascinating. I could definitely picture him trying to escape from reality in that manner, especially since actually playing a practical joke would be going too far. George was trying to put Fred's death out of his mind, to keep Fred alive for as long as possible, and he couldn't do that without the powder.
Your description of George under the influence was great. The sharpening of the senses was easy to see and experience along with him.
Also, I liked the addition of the Polyjuice Potion. It was an interesting twist on the idea of trying to keep a deceased loved one alive- he was trying to be Fred.
All throughout the funeral I was cringing, because I knew that George would do something to disrupt it. For a while I thought that he would just pee where he was sitting... I'm not sure that it's any better that he actually got up on stage. I just felt so bad for him, and for everyone watching him, when he tried to say that Fred was still alive- couldn't you see that he was right there? It was a very difficult situation and I think that you did a great job of portraying the reactions of everyone involved.
Your description about how they shared everything in their lives, about how their room was not divided but rather one large combination of their things, was really touching and a great insight into their lives. Furthermore, it also provided an explanation or insight as to how George was feeling before and during Fred's funeral- he was literally attending the funeral for half of himself.
The second paragraph gave me pause for a moment. I was confused by the reference to flowers- I hadn't been expecting them, nor the charmed colours of the ground. However, after I realized that they were funeral customs, all was fine.
George's reaction to Fred's tombstone was quite interesting to read because it showed an anger that might have been hidden... Or perhaps not anger so much as frustration at being separated from each other. Either way, the scene provided insight into George's mind through his actions, not through telling- which is something that you are very good at doing.
All in all, I think that you did a great job with this chapter. Although there were a few parts that I had to reread in order to be able to understand them (such as the more fragmented sections of the text), I understand that they were put there to enhance the reader's understanding of the fragility of George's mindset. As well, I don't think that you were overly melodramatic because of the significance of the main event of this chapter. George was losing someone that he still doesn't want to admit is dead. He is in denial, his mind is all confused. Everything in this chapter added to this understanding. Thank you for requesting a review and (once again) I am so sorry that it took me so long to write it!
Author's Response: Roots! Oh my goodness, what a review! And I have completely forgotten that I even made this request :O But thank you so, so much for such a detailed, insightful, and thorough review. It has been quite some time since I updated this story, and I've actually put it on hiatus while I figure things out - where I'd like to take this story and how it will turn out etc.
I know this wasn't a very comfortable read for many people; I certainly felt very uncomfortable writing it, and I do intend it to be this way. The depths of George's grief is supposed to be quite personal, especially since he's a Weasley twin, and going by the books, the twins are almost never shown as being intensely unhappy. It got to a point that I began to feel like an intruder in my own fic, witnessing George's frame of mind. The funeral bit was just...incredibly painful to write. :(
Yeah, I'm aware that some parts aren't as clear as the others, and there might be a few details which confuse readers; I can't remember much of it now, since I wrote this chapter last year, but I'll definitely be revising it once I get this story up and going again. The reference to the flowers in the early paragraph is meant to be tied to a later reference (in the last section, post-funeral, there are big flashy flowers on Fred's grave left by Ginny). That was one of those little details I thought I might slip in, since the twins were always so flamboyant (with their maroon robes clashing with their red hair and all etc.). Thanks for your great and very valuable feedback on this, Roots.
And yeah, I generally prefer to do a whole lot of showing rather than telling, even if it does mean that readers have to think a little and make their own assumptions/conclusiosn from whatever the narrative presents to them. I'm so glad you picked up on this :D
Thank you so, so much once again for this brilliant review, Roots! It has been extremely useful, and no worries about the time! I'm just so grateful and glad that you stopped by!