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Review:Aphoride says:
Back again! :)

Right so, I lovelovelove the character development in this, and how you deal with some of the issues you raise in it. It's just so well handled and you don't make it political or anything - it just is, you know? I love how frank the characters are about it, particularly Giles, and it's so great to have that human side of them all developed further.

Also, I realised while reading this that I've been calling her Isabella the whole time, but here she's Isabelle, so sorry about that! *blush*

Anyway, the plot in this is great! I like the fact that we find out what the information Evander has on Malfoy is - and I love that he's not as nice and 'light' as he and his family claim to be. It's a good reminder that beliefs and suchlike things aren't necessarily dictated by what your friends and family believe, and a nice non-cliche way to make little Scorp a bit more evil ;)

The one bit I was a bit iffy about was when she blows up the classroom. With one spell seems a little much, tbh. Maybe she casts several of them one after another? Given the spell only smashes the thing you're aiming at (say, a table) it seems a little unlikely that it would destroy so much with one spell, no matter how angry she is. In the same moment, as well (I'm just picking this up because I really liked this chapter, but thought this bit let it down a bit, sorry!), it's a bit odd when she says her mind replays the recent events, and then she mentions her father leaving her. Maybe she's just remembering things which make her angry, which would tie into her blowing stuff up? As it is, it just seems a little odd.

I love the way that you're bringing in more characters, as well, with Nordland and the 'blood traitor Slytherins' and Kane, as well. It's really nice to see the world around her developing and that she's not totally oblivious to everything else like I've seen before (though, admittedly not on this site) :)

Characterisation, as I said, it just great. Isabelle is rounding out nicely as a character - I like her loyalty and how she feels worried when she think she's revealed a secret which wasn't hers to tell to people, and how she doesn't understand how Giles can just be okay with what's going on with Ethan... it's really good! Giles... gah, I just want to hug him, you know? Poor boy. He obviously hates it, but what can he do? :(

A quick note: when I read the girl's name was 'Lexus' I honestly wasn't sure if it was a girl or boy at first, and it is also the name of a car. Maybe you could think about changing it? (Alexandra is often shortened to Lexi or Lex, if that helps!) It just... lol, I didn't get it! ;)

I'm really enjoying this, though - I'm really looking forward to where you go with this, if she finds out anything interesting about her father, what happens to Ethan and Giles (fingers crossed for a reunion soon!), and how things progress with her and Evander, and if she and Rose actually become friends. Really great! :) Feel free to re-request in the future!

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hmm, I suppose it might be unrealistic to have her inflict that much damage with a single spell. I also don't want to run the risk of having her be a 'extremely powerful' OC. So cliche, so thanks. I'll see what I can do with it to make it more believable.

I'm SO excited to write about Malfoy. Even though he's not one of the main characters he will play an important side role along with Rose. That's all I'll say :)


Yay! I'm glad you think Isabelle is a good character. That's so nice to hear. I'm pretty fond of her too! It's amazing how attached you can get to your OCs!

I will definitely re-request and thanks again for all of the lovely reviews. It was way more than I expected and very helpful. I've been kind of in a slump with this novel but I now feel inspired to write again :)

You're the best!

--Emmy




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