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Review:Erised says:
Hi Val! I'm here to review the rest of this wonderful story so I hope you enjoy them :)

I'm really impressed with this second chapter! There was a lot going on as well as lots of split scenes and different points of view but you handled it all very well and made the whole chapter flow very naturally, which considering you had the concentration camp, the mayor mission and a flashback is very good going.

I'm really intrigued by the characters you've created here and how their stories are developing. First, Camille and Xavier - very interesting that there's a failed romance between them. I'm eager to find out what exactly happened between them to have such discord years later because it clearly affects their professional life.

Secondly, Jean. Umm, woah, dude is CREEPY. That last little section where he calmly announces what he did to his uncle in the past? It gave me chills. I'm not quite sure what to make of him and I'm not sure whether he's just a good guy or that there's some dark in him too. Well, clearly there is dark in him with going ahead with that messed up potion. Gross! :P

And lastly, Simon. The scenes with him in are actually my favourite parts of the story so far because you really express how bleak and hopeless his situation is. He's clearly such a strong person for believing that he can escape with his sisters, but there's also that sense of wanting to give up because they're going to die anyway that he's grappling with. Simon is definitely my favourite character because my heart goes out to him!

You have an excellent writing style which just shines through in this story. The dramatics of the events paired with the personable nature of the characters is a great mix which is just wonderful to read. I also think that your dialogue is a particular strong point for you - all of the characters' lines sound so natural and also have a lot of impact too. Nobody is saying anything unnecessarily.

A great chapter, and onto the next!

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