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Review:patronus_charm says:
So Clemence is even more confused in this chapter. This is the great moment when the reader realises before the character. I almost just want to tell them to pull it together and just go back to hating or stay with loving. I guess with those two there are a lot more complications than most people such as Albus sort of trying to destroy Clemence and whether the kissing is a mind game or something more. Gah, all these ideas, I canít cope!

One thing which I really love is how you make them search for dominance verbally and physically. Itís like as soon as one of them starts touching the other theyíre aiming to win this fight. As for the Q.G.A., Iím confused about Albusí aims with them. I mean, as an attractive son of Harry Potter heís going to crazed fans everywhere, so is he doing this to make a stance and say he wonít tolerate it? Because he has another secret agenda? Because he really is evil and should be a Slytherin? Because they did something to him in the past and this is the revenge? Iím betting the last one, but Iíll have to wait and see.

At the moment, I would say Clemence has the upper hand with her taking control at the end and then breaking off the kiss, but who knows how long it will last and if it will at that. Again, I really liked the kiss scene and I really liked how you wrote it differently to the other like you showing how they now sort of trusted one another and their intimacy in the kiss was shown in that.

There was just this one line which seemed a little strange ĎAlbus doesn't stop me when leave the cloak.í I think you might be missing an I there :)

Another really awesome chapter!


Author's Response: It's a common theme that tension drops after the first kiss, especially when most rom-coms build up to that first kiss so much that they either end on it or have the final conflict arrive right after it. So when I realized this game Clemence and Albus were playing had them mistrust the other but still be very attracted to one another, I realized I struck a gold plot vein! Here are two characters whose kiss can mean several things and love is not the be all and end all for them.

I did intentionally keep most plot issues centered around Hogwarts. I've been writing etc as a school teen satire, a la Mean Girls, so while there is the out-of-Hogwarts world, it's pretty low priority. Is Albus Evil though, capital E? xD Even if he were, he wouldn't necessarily be a Slytherin you know ;D

Everything keeps amping up! Seconds kisses, I feel like there's a little less mystery. They have context in their mind that they want to expand--their thought about their first kiss. The thoughts that have haunted them since.

Ooops, that's indeed a typo xD thanks for pointing that out!

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