Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Haronione says:
Hi blackballet, me again!

The first thing that jumped out at me in this was the parallels between your main character and Harry. Both have lost their parents and live with family members that don't really care much about them (at least, it appears that your MC's sister doesn't really care about her). And neither of them have friends away from Hogwarts except for their pets. How sad and lonely the school holidays must be for your MC, at least Harry got saved by the Weasleys each summer! I feel quite sorry for your MC in this chapter.

Haha, this line made me giggle 'Hestia was too nice and happy for me to feel natural. It wasn't right for anyone to smile that much. To someone who is moody, abrasive and rude - as your MC has described herself as - someone who was always 'happy and nice' would seem strange and annoying.

I felt the second paragraph could have been broken up a bit. I think the section about her uncles dying should be in a separate paragraph to the section about her parents death. Also, I would have liked to know why her parents decided to take a plane instead of apparate. Was it because one of them was a muggle and didn't want to side along apparate? Are they both pure bloods and wanted to experience muggle transportation? But that is just me :) I just feel little details like this would enhance this chapter and provide more info about the MC, for example whether she's halfblood, pureblood etc. I love little details like that :)

Your MC has certainly has quite a tragic past. This could lead to a very interesting plot and I look forward to seeing you develop her character and story :) This is a good prologue which introduces some of the main characters and gives the MC's (whose name has not been mentioned yet, which I find a bit odd) backstory but doesn't give much of the story away. This leaves me wanting to read on to see how this past affects her and what direction the story will go.

Overall, this was a good prologue and I look forward to reading on :)

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: Hey there!

I actually didn't realize that until later on and I found it funny how different my character and Harry really are.

Yes, it is particularly long. Way, way back when I wrote this, I didn't even think about spacing (gasps of horror). And about that, it's hard to say why they took a plane, because it's a bit of an important plot point later, but I think I could say it vaguely somehow.

I love tragedy. It makes me happy with the life I have, so I like to write it to remind myself how lucky I am. I know, corny. I didn't realize that either, and now I think I will go back and edit it I haven't taken a good look at this in so long. So for that, I'm so glad you chose to review this!

Thanks a ton!


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 677
Submit Report: