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Review:nott theodore says:
Jami! I hope you didn't think I'd forgotten this story (and I'm now over halfway through - not caught up as much as I'd hoped to be, but it's something)!

Okay, so I think that's the first time I've ever read about a character having a bath in fanfiction! It was a bit weird and creepy, but at the same time it seemed to fit so perfectly with Bellatrix's character, because she is weird and creepy. It was great that you got across her need to be in complete control, and the way that she was testing herself to try and improve and become the best servant she can possibly be for the Dark Lord. The sort of obsession with blood purity (which is obviously her motive for joining the Death Eaters) reminded me of The Steps to Insanity (hint writesomemoreplease hint :P). I was surprised by how much I enjoyed that section!

Sirius coming to Lily with his worries about going to France with Belle was really sweet. It shows that all the friends in the group are getting closer, and it made me smile to see him confiding in her. Lily and Remus have always seemed alike to me as well, so it was nice to see Sirius picking up on that similarity as well.

The background that you've created for Peter was really interesting. I don't think I've ever read a story that really delves into his history before, so it is one of the things I love about your writing (I know I've already said this so I hope you're not getting bored!). The story about his parents actually makes me feel really sorry for him, but it also gives me a bit of an understanding about why he might have done what he did. The way his dad treated him must have made him really insecure and so it's more natural that he'd seek protection, especially when Voldemort threatens him. I'm not any closer to forgiving him for what he did, but I think I can understand a little better.

I loved Alice in this chapter. Her family is quite a realistic middle ground, and her parents fit my image of them because we know that they never had anything to do with Neville as he grew up. They're not like the Blacks but they're not as open as the Potters. Seeing Alice being cheeky with them and deliberately annoying them was great, and it's another glimpse of why she'll make such a brilliant Auror. She's not afraid to even stand up to her parents when she knows they're in the wrong, and that's hard to do.

There were just a few little bits that didn't feel quite right as I was reading this:
"You'll get to know her a bit more at the Christmas feast" - It might just be me, but feast seems to imply something much grander than the warm family dinner I imagine at the Potters
"came the booming voice of Mr. Black himself" - Mr. Black seems so formal that it doesn't really fit with Sirius. Again that's just an opinion, though!
And one typo I spotted:
"her father's pretensions voice" - I think you mean pretentious

Can I just say that I really appreciate the fact that you've mentioned Manchester Piccadilly? It makes me so happy when people put that sort of effort into their stories - just like you always do!

The section with Belle confessing to Alice was great as well. Her nerves were written in a very believable and touching way, and I hope that she'll manage to stay strong and not give in to her parents if they try and manipulate her again. At least she's got Sirius with her - and she's finally admitting her feelings for him, which is so exciting!

I'm so excited to know what's going to happen next when James and Lily meet Petunia and Vernon, and Sirius and Belle go off to France!

Sian :)

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