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Review:adluvshp says:
Hi, here for Slytherin review tag!

This was an interesting story, I liked your plot concept. You really made me feel for Dominique and I just wanted to hug her. Scorpius was adorable too =) The idea was really good, and your dialogue was nice.

I'd just say that if you could polish this one-shot a bit, it would turn out beautifully. For starters, there are some grammar errors that need to be fixed. Then, if you could include some more descriptions and detail, of the surroundings, the situation, the appearances, and most importantly the thoughts/feelings, it would really enhance the story. The plot concept is great so if you could execute it in a nicer manner, this could be very good. I know you wrote this in a hurry but now you can always go back and edit it to improve, or get a beta =)

Otherwise, this made for a nice and short read and I liked it. You have potential!

Good work,
Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Hello Aditi :) Thanks for tagging me :p

I agree that this story could use a shoe-shine (Spit shines may be "manly" but that is a little to slimy for my liking).

I always have grammar issues to fix. I have just learned to accept it as my "style of writing".

I can defiantly add some more descriptions and things of that nature but I sort of made it vague on purpose. My goal was to not only keep you guessing but to surprise you in the end. To be honest: as vague and sloppy this story is, it is probably the best story I have bothered to try for HPFF.

Thank you for telling me I have some potential. Right now that is all I can hope to have.

XOXOXOXOXOXO,
LLG


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