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Review:StellaRose says:
This was long but it was so well written that I didn't mind :)

You have such beautiful and descriptive writing. I love how you opened and closed the chapter. 'Only the guilty rise before the sun'. So intriguing and I'm immediately drawn in wanted to know more. Who's guilty? What's going to happen?

Maybe I just missed it in the first chapter but I love how you included the deathly hallows in this piece. Your personification of death is really well done. I especially like this line, 'Death's chosen flavor of perfume.'

The most fascinating part of this chapter, for me at least, was your discussion of muggle borns. I'm so excited to see how you pull this off. Are we finally going to find out the root of Slytherin's prejudices?! So intriguing, you have me hooked! :)

Your characterization is very well done. It's clear that you've put a lot of time in planning your characters because their motives, actions and dialogue are all consistent. Even the mayor and his reasoning for ignoring Stephane's request makes sense with the upcoming revolution. I like that he did consider it but then changed his mind because of his son.

In particular I really like Stephane and Marigold's relationship. I foresee trouble on the horizon and you've intentionally left so many things for me to ponder-wonderful! Are the rats going to come back? What's going to happen to Trip now that Stephane has a grudge against him? With the attack less than a week away how will he convince them in time?

I think you're doing a fantastic job! The piper plot is still very much there but you've made it your own with your wonderful characters and foreshadowing.

Can't wait to read more :)

--Emmy

Author's Response: Hi there! :)

Thank you so much for your comments about the description in this chapter, and I'm glad you found that line intriguing! I suppose... many are guilty in this story, even if they don't realize it yet! I'm very glad you noticed the references to Death, and even the personification: I felt it fit well with this branch of the Peverells and was very fun to imagine and write about!

I'm glad you found the discussion about Muggleborns fascinating, since in this story Trip is one of the first Muggleborns to admit he is magical, and both Marigold and Trip wonder about the repercussions of this. It's such an old prejudice, and trying to build a base for that is intimidating but exciting at the same time!

I love these characters, so I'm very honoured you're enjoying them as well. I thought of the mayor as a selfish, almost Fudge-like character, yet still wanted to give him depth and rationale. You are right, trouble is definitely coming, and Marigold and Stephane's relationship is far from stable.

I'm so pleased you think I'm doing okay at balancing the piper legend with the storyline of the piece. This is one of my favourite stories to work on right now, so thank you so much for your lovely words and taking the time to leave this thoughtful review! I really appreciate it! :D


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