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Review:SilentConfession says:
Hey! I'm finally here for your first review! I had this plan that they'd all be done by September but hey ho, life gets busy. I am sorry for the long wait though. I haven't forgotten.

I commend you on choosing such a charged moment to start your story. I think this moment would have meant so much in their relationship and I like how you've chosen this path for them to go down. In a sense we can tell that James and Lily are friends already of a sort. If they weren't she wouldn't have forgiven as easily and the chemistry between them is undeniable. There is a charge between them that can be read into their actions, especially Lily's, that can only be seen as they weren't enemies before. I think that's an interesting and refreshing look into their relationship. I've read so many interpretations of lily/james and it's always nice to come across one that seems to set out in a direction that is different than a lot of them out there. But the mere fact that they don't seem to be bitter enemies is something that makes this unique already.

I like how you've made Lily seem really human here so far. I mean, it's far too early to tell too much about their characterization, but her dialogue seems to really establish her as a confused teenager. She seems young, her wording, the way she talks about becoming an auror. It all seems like she doesn't quite understand the war yet and it hasn't affected her very much at this point.

It was interesting to see James here too. You've humanized him as well. A teen who really has no idea what he wants from life but doesn't really care at the moment. I think it's really great that it's Lily who wants to be an auror and not him. It is refreshing to see that change and to see this more carefree aura come from James. I can imagine him being that way where he just accepts life in the present where Lily feels like she needs to plan.

I think it was great too that Lily wasn't good at every subject and that she needed help. Obviously with that interaction we can tell a lot about the characters. That Lily doesn't ever ask for help and refuses to admit a weakness. She's almost rather hide her inadequacy rather than show it otherwise she would've asked for help before now. The whole using the animagi as a point of misunderstanding is a bit overused however. I don't know why i'm picky about that, but it seems to come in nearly every one i read that everyone goes to the Marauders on help with that specific thing. If they were really trying to keep their secret they'd probably even pretend they don't understand it themselves. Just to keep their and Remus' secret better and not give anything away. But anyway, it's a small thing.

I would've liked to see more description. I felt like there were times i wanted to know more about the scene. More about what they were doing or smelling. It was very dialogue heavy and although that can tell us a lot about the character there were times i wanted to know about the world you were constructing around them so i could be pulled into it with them.

Overall this is an interesting start and i'm really pleased I was able to read it. I am excited to read a few more chapters of this to see where you are taking this. Lily/James is one of my favourite pairings :)

Author's Response: Hello! Sorry for taking so long to get back to you! It's frustrating not being able to respond on your phone!

Thank you so much! I'm not going to lie, I actually LOVED that scene! Even though James was a naughty little bugger, I liked that it showed people CAN change (for better or for worse) so I've always wanted to experiment with that scene.

I know when I was 15/16, I was so confused about EVERYTHING (I still am, really :p) so I did try to channel that out. It's the age when people really start shaping themselves so they're so confused ALL THE TIME. :p

Girls at 15 and boys at 15 are a LOT different. The boys hardly ever have plans (at least the ones that I know) whereas girls are always thinking of their future. So I'm glad it came across, haha!

It is a bit of a cliche, I do admit. But I loved writing it, hehe. If I ever write another James/Lily story (which I'm sure I will because I absolutely love the pairing), I'll make sure not to include that! Thanks for the tips!

I see what you're talking about! I remember trying to make it more descriptive but I see that that didn't work out! I'll try to work on it in the future, thank you for pointing that out!

Thank you so much for this lovely review, it really means a lot that you took time to review it! :)

- Kayla. :)


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