Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:academica says:
Hello, here from Review Tag!

Aagh, my pet peeve strikes again--don't be so hard on yourself in your author's note! It's okay to ask for feedback on parts of a chapter that you think are weak, but try to be more confident in your work and don't apologize for a "bad chapter." It makes me sad to see people decide that a chapter isn't good after they post it, because it puts a damper on me as the reader. If you're really not happy with it, don't post it. Instead, keep working at it at your own pace.

I actually liked this chapter. I thought the theme of Lily not wanting to lose Petunia felt very realistic and I liked how it was something she confided in Severus about. I really loved his statement in the last section, where he said just exactly what she needed to hear, even if his intentions were somewhat selfish. I also adored that last line, though it never came to pass :(

I may have said this last time, but I think you'd benefit from the use of a beta; I see some problems with dialogue tags and other typos that a beta could easily help you iron out. The only other thing that might improve this is to add some more transitions, to help remind us that we're reliving Snape's memories and to help improve the flow between scenes a little bit.

Otherwise, though, this is good work :)

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hi again, Amanda! I feel incredibly happy when I see your reviews. I like your honesty, and have great respect for you as a writer.

You're right about that. I tend to be overly-apprehensive about my work, and I can see how stating so this often would probably seem unappealing to some readers. I shall make sure I keep this habit of mine in check.

I'm glad you liked it. I think that she really loved his company and his insights into matters. She trusted him a lot, before he let her down. I'm glad this seemed realistic and interested you.
I felt a little sad while writing it myself. His love is so sincere, yet he will never be at the receiving end of such a beautiful emotion.

I do write things out in a hurry sometimes, and I know I tend to make far too many typos sometimes. I'm planning to edit this soon. So hopefully, I'll fix everything and add more details, like those transitions (thank you ;) ). If I can't do it for some reason, I'll definitely get in touch with a beta :)

Thanks again, Amanda! :)



Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 439
Submit Report: