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Review:academica says:
Hello, here for the Ravenclaw Review Battle :)

I'm kind of surprised that you haven't gotten any reviews for this chapter yet, because I really enjoyed it! I think you've got a fascinating premise and I'm intrigued to meet James and see how you've characterized him. I like Melody already; she seems realistically skeptical and nervous. I especially liked the ending where she wasn't quite sure of her decision and then sank more comfortably into it when she noticed how happy Harry seemed about her compliance.

To me, though, it seemed like you spent an undue amount of time with her boss being upset about losing her. I think you could have devoted more of that space to describing the crime as it was reported in the paper, because right now I'm really curious about what happened and what evidence there is against poor James.

I noticed a few typos, but it's nothing a beta or an extra round of proofing couldn't help fix. I would also suggest using the Simple Editor in the future, because doing so will help reduce those large spaces in between your paragraphs.

Overall, though, nice work :)


Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review!

I'm really glad you enjoyed it. I've been having second thoughts about it due to lack of reviews but this review is exactly what I needed! I'm so happy you like the premise of the story and also that you like Melody. The one thing I didn't want to do was make her this confident 'I can do anything' character because I know that's not how I would react if I was asked to do something as big as what is being asked of her.

That's the one part of this chapter I have been unsure about. While I was writing it I was trying find a place to end it but it just seemed to keep on going. Taking your advice into account, I have just edited it and included an insight onto what happened and the evidence involved so it's not too much of a mystery, in the sense that no one has any idea what James has done.

I've edited it so hopefully all typos are gone, I'm dreadful at proof reading but I persevered so that should be all sorted now.

So that's what I need to use! I've been trying to work out how not to have the huge spaces because it's been bugging me so thanks for that, now I can stop stressing about it!

Again, thank you Amanda. This review has meant an awful lot to me!

- Vicki

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