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Review:BLONDEbehaviour says:
Hello! BLONDEbehaviour here with you requested review!

You don't have to worry about plot not being interesting, this has definitely caught my eye!! You have given us enough to tie us in so we can figure out who exactly this girl is and why she no longer wants anything to do jobwise with the wizarding world- extremely intriguing! Will be interesting to see what we find out next!

I think your flow is very well done, it is spaced out just right for the amount of information that you include in this chapter, and the happen-upon by Sirius was done perfectly :) Your characterization of him so far is spot on, just as you would expect him to be,so i wouldn't be worried there :)

Your imagery is amazing, i could picture the rain outside the cafe and the elderly woman with the cardigan and umbrella, very nice. One thing that may help improve this already amazing imagery is the description of the cafe- whats it look like, is it busy etc, just to give us an opening image :)


All in all however, a really interesting start!! Am very intrigued as to where you take this. Feel free to re-request so i can view more :D

Please respond to this review, thanks :)

Blondie

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review! I'm glad that you think so many things that I was worried about were good, it really relieves me. :3 I might re-edit this chapter later and add some descriptions of the cafe, too. ^_^

Thanks!


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