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Review:silverashes says:
Hello again!

This is a captivating plot line! You've redone the battle scene, and I like it. It's an interesting take on the Battle of Hogwarts. I like how you portrayed Harry, Ron, and Hermione with the Order of Phoenix. This way they are all together when they begin to fight. The chapter does move a little quickly, well only the first section and the beginning of the second. Her confrontation with Draco comes a little quickly. I think she should have a little more time to absorb her surroundings and maybe meet with people she knows before talking to Draco; however, the rest of the chapter moves along smoothly.

As for you characterization I think you did a good job. Hermione is a little more outgoing and courageous than she is in the books, but I don't think that's a problem. Though I do feel her dialogue with Draco seems a little too out of character. She's never been one to stoop down to Draco's level (except for that one time in third year). Writing a character is up to you though! You have to characterize them how you want to characterize them. I think Hermione's more brave personality is unique and something the site doesn't see too often. Draco is basically the same as in the books, but I like the way he is stuck in between the two sides. He can't decide between his family/friends and what he knows is right. I think that little inner turmoil adds a lot of depth to his character.

Overall I think you have a really good start to a story! Nice job!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: Hello! Thank you for the review! Sorry I have taken so long to respond, i have been at home and been a bit neglectful.

I'm glad you find the plotline interesting, it was a bit hard to begin like that but it needed a start, even if it was a slow and off topic. I was worried that it does move a bit quickly. I am thinking of expanding on this chapter and making it longer and more in depth, but it is still a prologue.. so i don't know. I will just have a play.

I'm really relieved to hear you think Hermione is in character, at least for the most part! I think the same thing about the confrontation with Draco, that is a section that is going to be rewritten at a point. I'm glad you also think that Draco is in character. I find him very hard to portray without being the cliche version 'life is so hard to me, somebody love me' type. There's a lot more to him than that and i hopefully will write it well :)

Thank you again for such a great review! I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter :)

Grace :)


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