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Review:BLONDEbehaviour says:
Hi hi!

Another cool chapter! I love how it has changed to Juliana's P.O.V, its a great way to introduce the character and get a full perspective of what is going on in her head when she finds out all that new information!! It would be a lot to take on board, and i think you did well in her reaction to it, so well done! I definitely would've acted in the same way.

A few grammar spots that i saw, the word pink probably doesn't need to be capitalized, or does it stand for something? If it does, ignore this comment! Also, wit this quote here I suppose I have but that still doesn't explain why I have to be here. Hes your friend, not mine. I want to go meet my friends. Please mom let me go." i was a bit confused, as you had it after Sirius/Mark spoke, in the same paragraph, and i thought it was him saying it for a second! Maybe just mention that it is her speaking :)

I think you did well in description of the characters and the situation, but i do believe you may have been able to elaborate more on describing the things around her. When she woke up, what did her room look like? The kitchen? When Dumbledore arrive they went into the living room, what was that like? I personally find it awesome when we can make a mental image of the situation, it's almost like being there!

I hope this review was helpful! It was a bit more nit-picky than the last one, but hopefully it is things that will improve your story, and make it better than it already is! I'm really enjoying it, and excited to see what comes next. Feel free to re-request once again :)

Please respond to this review too, thanks!! :D


Author's Response: Thanks for the review!

I'm glad that you liked the chapter and Jasmine/Juliana's reaction and agreed with it.

I had pink capitalized because it's Pink by Victoria Secret and I wasn't sure if it needed to be capitalized or not.

My beta has this chapter right now re editing it so the grammar problems you spotted will be fixed including the fact that I don't like to separate the dialogue.

I definitely lacked the description in everything but the characters in this chapter because I just wanted to get to Juliana's shock but I will go back and add more description for the rooms and everything.

Thanks again for the review!

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