Hi! Thank you so much for entering my challenge! Now I will give your story a review. :)
I thought that the PoV switches were very interesting. They added another dimension of perspective to the story, and that's pretty cool! It was just a little confusing at first, but as the story went on, I began to expect the switch, and it was much easier to grasp.
This little love story is a pretty quick one--after all, it's a one-shot, and you don't have much time to develop the characters' backgrounds or the reason why they're together or anything like that. I think you did a great job with showing us the here-and-now story: the place where Scorpius and Rose are at this point in their relationship. For this kind of story, nothing else is really necessary.
I would, however, have liked a little clarification at the beginning of their actual relationship status. It might have been intentional on your part, and if so, I'm sorry for mentioning it, but when the story opened, I thought that Scorpius and Rose were only dating. It didn't occur to me that they were married until much later on. That might have been what you wanted me to think, and if so, you did a good job of making me think that! ;)
The names that you chose are really cool. They fit very well with Scorpius' job, and they sort of parallel to the ideas that "The Call" brings up. Very nice!
Speaking of "The Call," I thought it was very clever how you integrated the quote as part of a thing that Rose says to Scorpius every time he leaves. It's almost like how some people don't say "I love you"--they have their own special code phrase or word that means exactly the same thing.
Author's Response: Yeah, I was a bit dubious about the PoV switches to start with, but I didn't want to do the whole 'Rose PoV' 'Scorpius PoV' thing as I thought it would detract from the flow more than having to make sense of the switches.
The lack of clarification at the beginning was not deliberate to start with, but leaving it that was definitely was. To me, being a very here-and-now story I didn't think it mattered if they were just dating or if they were married, it's how they are coping with being apart that matters, and I decided that realising later on that they are married would highlight how difficult it must have been for the relationship to have got that far.
I LOVE their names, I went for greek/latin names because they are awesome, but also it might be one family tradition that Scorpius didn't mind and I think Rose would have accepted that fairly quickly. The fact that they tie in with his job was subconscious genius on my part, as it wasn't till I'd chosen them that I realised how well they fit in with everything else and not just the origins aspect.
I took a lot of thought about how exactly I was going to integrate the quote without it sounding unnatural, as song lyrics often do when quoted in prose. I'm glad you like it, I think I may have milked it a little, three times, how cliche, but I'm pleased with how it works overall.
So Thank you for an awesome challenge and an awesome review. Glad you enjoyed reading the result! :D