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Review:silverashes says:
Hello again!

Another good chapter! You characterized Hermione even further, and I'm continually falling in love with her character over, and over again! And we got to meet Draco this chapter, yay! I share Draco's feelings on Pansy! I wish she had stayed home back in England. She's prissy and always seems to have her panties in a twist; but, alas, she will definitely add some drama. I liked Draco's character. He and Hermione seemed to get along well, which I wasn't expecting. I thought they would have been a little more hostile. Change is good though. I'm glad they could both get over their severe differences and move forward from the past.

I thought the end scene was hilarious. The dissecting an eye made me cringe (that kind of stuff makes me wriggle), I thought the overall scene was fluffy, funny, and kept me thoroughly entertained! There were a few things I noticed throughout the chapter -- nothing big! There were a few places where there were words that needed to be capitalized. Here's one spot!
- EW THIS IS TOTALLY DIDSGUSTING! HOW CAN THIS COUNTRY LET THIS BE, LIKE, LEGAL?! ITS REVOLTING, AND ITS ALL OVER MY NEW PRADA OUTFIT!! screamed pansy, who had just got soaked by the liquid.

I also think that all of the caps and exclamation points can be a little distracting. It's a little hard on the eyes. I think you can get your point of how angry she is across with just normal lettering! If you describe how she reacts (like when you use the word scream) or maybe say that her face became flushed, you can get the same point across! Also there were a few slight grammatical errors, but they weren't too bad! In the quote above "got" should be "gotten". There were a few other places, but overall nice work! Honestly there was nothing that stuck out like a sore thumb, just some minor things!

The overall plot, story-line, and characterization is awesome! I really like how this story is coming along! I can't wait to find out what happens next!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: Ah yay! Your back!!

Haha yeah i thinks she's quite cool in this chapter, a bit more relateable as a character a well. Yup Pansy is horrible, but she's got an important part in the story so can't cut her out yet! *Cries*
Draco and Hermione do get along so far, but you never know what might happen.!

Haha thank you ! I had to do that in my first year of high school, unfortunately minus throwing it everywhere, but i thought it might be something funny to incorporate!

I get what you mean about the caps and exclamation points. I'll go back through this chapter and have a look out for them, as well as the spelling mistakes, thank you!

Ah awesome! I'm just glad you enjoyed it! Thank you again for reviewing!!

Bondie


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