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Review:nott theodore says:
Hi Sophie!

I hadn't realised this had been validated, or I'd have been here much sooner to leave a review! I can't believe that you managed to write something like this with those prompts, and now I'm jealous for not having thought of it myself :P

You write Tonks' voice really well; there's the humour and happiness that we know from the books but also a tone of maturity to it, which I think she would have gained from fighting the war and becoming a mother. The style was quite disjointed and random at times, but I think it reflects what her thoughts might be after death well. She's still coming to terms with everything and her thoughts are jumping all over the place as she recalls what has happened to her.

I'm amazed by how well you worked in the prompts without making them seem out of place in such a melancholy piece of writing, especially in the latter part of the story. The memories that Tonks was telling Remus as he died were a great way of working all those prompts in and making them sound like something normal that the Marauders would have had fun with. Plus it made me really sad to think that she had to watch Remus die this horrible death, with nothing she could do to help him, before dying himself.

The ending, once again, was perfect. I think you've got a talent for knowing exactly the right place to end a story in, and leave the reader with something poignant and moving, but also something that leaves us feeling like the story has reached its natural conclusion.

I also really liked the imagery and description that you included in this. One of the things that struck me was the contrast between sour death and the sweet taste of life with Teddy, which I thought was really effective. The simile towards the end - "my own life is fading like a flickering candle" - just fit so well with the overall tone of the story and conjured up the image in my mind.

I spotted a couple of typos and some misplaced commas, but other than that there weren't any problems I could see. Another great job with this, and I really enjoyed reading it!

Sian :)

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