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Review:marauderfan says:
Hello! Here with your requested review.

Wow- what a chapter!! Your characterisation of Albus is so interesting and so different. He reminds me so much of Voldemort, with sort of extra layers. And he's been moulded into this personality by Harry, which is... wow. I can see how the responsibility of being the Chosen One and all that kind of affected Harry's judgement, so I can see him being sort of paranoid, but I was curious why he decided to subject Albus to that kind of lesson. Surely he would have known what it would do to a child? Anyway, given that childhood, your Albus is a great character. He seems like he's on his way to become the next dark lord (and he already has a minion in the form of Scorpius). After all, Harry said there will always be a dark lord.

I'm so curious about the mysterious circumstances of the trio's deaths. Definitely not a fire. I can't help but wonder if Albus is involved or at least partly responsible! Is that terrible of me? Oh and then the resurrection stone - I can tell this will not go well. Are they going to use it to bring back the trio? I wouldn't imagine so, because Albus doesn't want his father back. Maybe for Hugo. Aaaa so many questions!

In terms of structure, I found the hopping between the present and the pensieve a bit confusing at first. (Actually in the first bit set in the past, I didn't even realise it was in the pensieve - maybe mention that the pensieve is in the room with him and Rose?) If you wanted, you could italicise the scenes in the present or something. Or, if the kind of vagueness/chaos is what you're going for, keep it the way it is ;)

One line I thought I'd point out: There's not a wizard that hadn't gone wrong that wasn't sorted in Slytherin.
The triple-negative is kind of confusing here. I think you meant "There's not a wizard that went wrong who wasn't sorted into Slytherin"

All right, I think that covers it! That was an intense chapter, and this is a really original fic, I'm enjoying it. Great work!!

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing and I think you're right about the pensive part.. I will go back and put an author's note about it (though I do have a fondness for chaos so we'll see haha). I'm glad you like the story and it's piqued your interest. And interesting prediction on Albus (though I will neither deny or confirm where the story's going to go). Anyway thanks for the review!

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