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Review:BLONDEbehaviour says:
Hi! BLONDEbehaviour here with your requested review!

First off!! Ah!!! I got very giddy when i finished this, It's so beautifully written, with a great storyline. You have done a great job!

I think your inclusion of the song works well. I like that you didn't place it at the very start, giving the story a bit of an opening, before incorporating the song lyrics in. They were placed at the perfect places!

I do not think there's much you can do to improve it! Though there was a place where the tense could be improved- "The sound of the zip on the khaki green bag being opened disturbing the birds who were perched in the tree behind her and they flew from the tree, some squawking though indignant at the disruption." That disturbing would probably work better as 'being opened disturbed the bird'. But apart from that, nothing else i could pick up!

Your description is fantastic, I think you should teach me. I got a great visual in my head. Overall it is a fantastic song-fic!

I would recommend writing more of these, you write them very well! Good luck for the competition :)

Please respond to this review, thanks :)

Blondie

Author's Response: Hello Blondie! Thanks so much for responding so quickly to my request!

I'm so thrilled you liked the positioning of the lyrics, I read a couple songfics before writing this but it seemed there was no particular structure to where te lyrics should go so I just did it how I thought best :)

Thanks for pointing out the tense error, I'll change it ASAP :D

Description is something I'm terrible at usually, I always sort of forget about it and get lost in the plot of my story so I tried to focus on it a little more in this one. I'm so pleased you liked it!

I definitely stepped out of my comfort zone writing this but really enjoyed it so I may well write some more in future! Thanks so much for this lovely review :D


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