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Review:BLONDEbehaviour says:
Hi there, BLONDEbehaviour here with your requested review!

A good start to the story! I love that it was Sirius that found them and ended up looking after Jasmine, that's a neat twist! Sirius is my all time favourite marauder, and i believe there is so much more that can be done with him, so him being Jasmines' 'father' is a good approach!

I think the flow of the chapter is good! It starts off at a good place, and the flow regarding him leaving and then leaving the country for good is direct. Direct in a good way, as i feel if you spent too much longer on it it would've felt a bit dragged along, so it laid out a good start!

Your grammar really isn't as bad as you think!! There's a few spelling mistakes but it happens in all stories (even some i've beta-d have spelling mistakes i've missed!). There are a few sentences that could be reworked to sound better, but that is something that a beta can help you with :)

That accuracy of the characters was spot on, poor Sirius, he seems heartsick by the event, i really feel bad for him!

The only thing i could think that you could include is some more detail into the house, how it looks, the destruction etc. But considering it is a prologue it may not be needed, it still makes a good start!!

Hope you keep writing!! Feel free to re-request!

Please respond to this review :)


Author's Response: Thanks for the review!

I love Sirius so much that I just couldn't send him to Azkaban so I decided the next best thing was to make him raise Jasmine so he would be safe from Azkaban and I get my Sirius fix.

I'm glad that you think the flow of the chapter wasn't rushed and that you thought it was good.

I just recently obtained a beta so that will be looked after soon.

I know poor Sirius, I feel so sad every time I think of him finding his friends like that.

I'll definitely take your suggestion into consideration and add some more detail.

Thanks again for the review!

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