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Review:Elphaba and Boyfriends says:
Hi, Elphaba here!

Hooray! I'm so glad that Dom and Teddy tracked down somebody who can testify that Delilah is responsible for Dom getting bit! :)

I like the meeting between Dom and Teddy and Wilson Young. You do a really good job of ratcheting up the tension from the moment they appear outside Wilson's house up until they reach a deal with him. Their persuasion of Wilson with promises of help is convincing; as is Dom's reaction when he invites her to join his pack.

I think the one thing you could do to polish this chapter is just remove some repetition of details that pop up here and there. For instance: "Julia laughed before hugging her friend, who was also her colleague." I think you could cut this sentence off after "friend, or even "laughed." We already know that they're friends from the previous paragraph, and we can infer that they're colleagues. In the next paragraph, this sentence stuck out: "Julia said, stepping back to take a good look at her best friend who had recently experienced a terrible nightmare." You could end this one in a couple of places as well; perhaps after "friend." We can guess from their dialog that Julia knows about Dom's werewolf bite, so it doesn't need to be mentioned again.

The cliffhanger ending left me dying to know how Delilah will react! Will she try to deny the charges? Or try to weasel her way out of trouble with some sort of excuse?

Keep up the good work! :)

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks a ton for reading and reviewing.

Yeah Dom and Teddy rock xD

I am pleased you liked the meeting and how I built up the scene. It's good to hear that the promise and reaction both were convincing.

Thanks for pointing out those small bits to me. English is not my first language so I tend to go a bit overboard with details sometimes xP I'll definitely work on the repetition parts.

Well, as to what Delilah does, you'll have to wait and watch for the next chapter! Thank you for your helpful review.


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