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Review:Aphoride says:
Hey there, again! I'm so glad you re-requested! :)

Ah, I really enjoyed this chapter - reading all of the things like this just remind me how much I missed reviewing... anyway, this was really nice. The ending was great - really nice to just leave it there, with nothing else. It worked really well, just the right amount of suspense and drama.

I love the scenes between her and her family, they're always so sweet! It's one of those instinctive reactions to be almost smothering with affection when something bad has happened to someone, you know, and you use it so well here - also, it helps to show Dom is vulnerable. She's not totally okay with the choices she has to make, but she's sort of gradually learning to deal with it. It's really good characterisation! They're all such great characters, and so true to the Weasley family, as well.

The one thing I did think was a bit odd was how quickly she jumped to the conclusion that someone had been out to get her, and how quickly Teddy believed her. In most situations, no one is out to get someone else, so it's not necessarily the first place your mind would go. It just feels a bit sudden to me, that's all - maybe Teddy could be a bit more sceptical? I think it just needs a bit more fleshing out and emotional explanation of why they think that and then it'll be fine. As it is, it's a bit quick and an odd thing to suddenly believe.

Wow! Delilah is really a totally heartless woman, isn't she? Stooping so low... I love, though, how you've connected it all up - the article being assigned to her, the attack, her situation. It's really clever, and works so well. I'm really curious to see how Dom and Teddy and her family react to that news and what Delilah has to say to defend herself, though wow, I can't believe it wouldn't be illegal, you know? It's a really cold-blooded and cruel thing to do... she's a great villain!

Poor Teddy, as well. I liked how you had them argue over it - how he lost his temper with her for being quiet and refusing to talk to him. Miscommunication is so common in relationships, and this was a really lovely human touch! Plus, you can sympathise so easily with both sides! Poor both of them... it must be a lot to take in.

Oh, quickly, there were a couple of things which seemed odd: you said that Ian seemed like 'a brother she'd never had'. 'A brother' implies she has others, and if Louis doesn't exist in this story, then it should be 'the brother' ;) Also, when you were talking about the files on the werewolves, you said 'the full profile of all the werewolves', which given there would have to be individual profiles for each werewolf, should be 'the full profiles'. Just two little things I spotted! :)

Yeah, this is going great! I love the added drama and mystery and the suspense was great - you used that really well! Your characterisation is brilliant, as always, your flow is perfect and there were no real mistakes. It's great! Feel free to re-request any time! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing =)

I am pleased you enjoyed reading this chapter and you liked the ending too, with the suspense and drama.

I am glad that you can understand Dom through my story, and that you liked the scenes between her and her family. It's such a relief to hear that you think my characters are true to the Weasley family. I am always worried about characterisations so your comments mean a lot!

Thanks for pointing out that bit about it being sudden. I wanted Dom to make it sound like she had been thinking over it for days, it's just that with everything happening she didn't get a chance to voice it, but now I know it didn't come across properly so I'll try to go back and edit. I'll work on Teddy's reaction as well. Thank you for the advice.

Delilah is not very nice, yeah xP More to why she did what she did will be revealed further. I am pleased you find her a good villain!

Ah I love writing Dom/Teddy so it's great to hear that you think I did them justice, and you could side with both of them. Thanks.

Oh thanks for mentioning those little errors. I'll go back and take care of them as soon as I get the time.

I am happy you're liking the story. I'll definitely re-request. Your suggestions are valuable =) Thanks!


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