Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:purplepotter77 says:
Here for your review!

Rose being the overlooked Weasley is something that I've never seen before - usually I see her as one of the more successful Next Gen Weasleys - but it was really lovely to see her in a new light here. It was easy to see her hardworking nature and her thirst to write about she's actually interested in, as opposed to clothes or perfume. Being born into a family such talented and accomplished people must be a heavy burden, though Rose seems eager to match up to them and prove her successfulness, too. Rose is very likable and relatable character so far, and one that I'm interested in learning more about!

The description was lovely throughout this chapter, especially the opening. I loved how you described the rain as "artillery fire" and the ink shooting "spectrums of color". Describing her decision to not dye her Weasley red hair as "the copper burnt on" was a really original touch.

One of your concerns was whether the level of description was equal throughout, and I'd say it is for the most part! I think there's a little bit more description in the beginning, but that fits because it sets the scene for the chapter and helps the reader imagine the story better.

I'm also interested to learn more about Molly, Tabitha, and Loran, and I'm excited for Scorpius to make his appearance! Egypt seems like it's going to be a lot of fun, and from the summary, the city of Acanthus sounds really intriguing and I'm wondering when it'll come into the story!

As for constructive criticism, I've noticed are a few small punctuation things, though nothing huge. For example, in "Rose glanced up from her work, and made a face at Tabitha", there shouldn't be a comma between 'work' and 'and', since 'made a face at Tabitha' isn't an independent clause. That's just a very nitpicky, annoying grammar-y thing, but for overall plot, characterization, etc., you did a really wonderful job!

Overall, I loved the originality in Rose's characterization and your description, and I'm eager to meet Scorpius and see Egypt!

Author's Response: Wow that was quick, and so many! Thank you so much!

That's how she come across in all the next gen stories I've read too, so I thought I would put a spin on it. I think a large amount of it is actually Rose's own worries and fears not so much the reality of it. I'm so glad that you find her likeable as I always dread that when starting a new fic! I hope you continue to like her!

I'm glad that you liked the description in this chapter as I was trying to make it sensory too, and it seems as if it paid off! That last bit is the little science nerd showing in me :P

Even if it is unequal I'm glad that you thought it worked! Though I still am tempted to go and add a little more to the end half :P

I'm sorry to disappoint you but Molly and Tabitha don't make any future appearances! I wish there was some way to work it in but there isn't! Lorcan and Scorpius will feature majorly throughout though!

Thanks for pointing that out to me, I'll fix it straight away! Thank you for those lovely and really insightful review! ♥

-Kiana


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 958
Submit Report: