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Review:patronus_charm says:
Hello dear! I'm so glad that you requested as I really love the Pied Piper and then mixing it with fan fiction just sounds like a wonderful idea and so unique too!

I love your opening! It was perfect for a founders, fairy tale story. I think with that era and genre it does require that much more description because it's so unfamiliar to us that we need the scene painted before us so the level of description was brilliant.

One thing that made it really magical was how you didn't limit to it just to the landscape but you gave the same level of it to the people too. That's the thing I loved about fairy tales the most so seeing it echoed here was really fantastic.

The only minor improvement I can really give in regards to that is because of high amount of description which requires more concentration, I would perhaps shorten some of the longer paragraphs by splitting them up to make it easier. That would improve the ease of reading a little and keep readers engaged throughout.

One thing I really adored was the small details, such as the year it was in and the history of Hamlin. It just made it so much more real to me and that I understood the place and yeah it was just brilliant!

The fact that you mixed in canon characters such as the Peverells really added to the story as it almost gives it some sort of basis and something that the reader can then relate to when confused. I'm also really eager to see how they're involved later on.

The historical accuracy in this was really great! With the inclusion of the plague and the dialogue which went with it, I was just in history nerd heaven. I've barely even got half way through this chapter and I'm already in love with the story, so you can more than definitely re-request!

You forgot to put speech marks here '"Reparo.' :)

I really liked the scene with Trip, Marigold and Blind John. They seem to be an interesting mix of characters and the fact that 'muggles' know about magic is really interesting. I know Trip ended up being a wizard but I'm curious to see whether other muggles know about it or not.

The council meeting was really great as it was an excellent example of the hierarchy of power in those times. With the inclusion of religion into that it really painted an excellent picture. I admire the level of accuracy in this story because that's the one thing that puts me off reading a founders story because not that manner people do that.

The introduction to the founders was really great! Each of them had their stereotypes and then something else! Even though it sounds really mean of me, I can't wait to see what happens next week as it sounds like a lot of action and drama is about to take place!

I'm worried about Salazar's snake as I feel he's going to be up to something! This was such an excellent introduction and it definitely makes me want to read on as there was so much drama and excitement in this chapter!

I'm sorry this review was more of a gushing one than a constructive one, but I really couldn't find much to fault. Definitely feel free to re-request and I hope to make it back to GfS soon too! ♥

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hello! :) Ah, this review is so thoughtful and amazing, thank you so much for taking the time to leave all your lovely comments and opinions!

When I was assigned this story for the fairytale challenge I just thought it was such a fun idea and so perfect to tie into the wizarding world. I'm glad you thought it was unique, and I really hope I did the story justice!

I'm glad you liked the description and didn't find it dragged on too much. I think that as a writer coming up with this world I kind of needed to paint that picture of the place for myself, not just for readers, and creating the world of Hamlin was so creatively enjoyable. It's good to know that it conveyed the essence of fairy tales and gave the people some life as well. I think you're definitely right about having a few paragraphs which could be separated and tightened up a little, and hopefully I'll have the time to revise this chapter a little soon! :)

I thought the Peverells would be a good family to base the story around since we know a bit about them from the books and that they were an old and famous wizarding family. And I'm so glad you think the story is somewhat historically accurate! Of course it's probably a little glamourized, especially through the use of magic and fairy tale element, but I hope it emulates at least slightly what that era might have been like for ordinary people. I thought the corrupt council and their danger would hopefully be realistic as well.

I'm pleased you enjoyed the characters: both the OCs and the Founders. I based them a little off my perception of them in my story "Souls" but by concentrating on the Slytherins and also Ravenclaw, since for some reason they interested me the most! I'm glad you liked them, and are looking forward to the action, even if it does mean bad things for certain people! :)

Thank you so much for leaving this incredible review Kiana! I loved receiving it, and I can't wait to get your opinion on the next chapter of this little story. So, thank you! :D



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