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Review:silverashes says:
Hello there!

I really like your writing style! It's very detailed, painting the story into the minds of the readers. I could see the whole thing inside my head as if I were looking at pictures or a movie. I think your flow is perfect. Everything moved along smoothly without any confusion! I also think your plot is very interesting. You've kept a veil over the main character, not giving any details about her or what she's there or what the Death Eaters want. I think that's a good tactic to build suspense, making readers want to find out more! The end of the chapter was such a cliff hanger too! I think you have a brilliant story coming together!

There were a couple of minor things that I noticed. In the first paragraph, and some later on, there were a few i's that weren't capitalized! Not a huge error but just to make it easier to read! One more minor thing I noticed was the paragraphs. There a bit long. Not that there is anything wrong with having long paragraphs, really there isn't! I think if you broke each paragraph (depending on the length) into a couple smaller ones! I know for me it's easier to read and helps keep my attention! But it's totally up to you(:

Overall well done! You have a wonderful plot that I can't wait to see how it's going to pan out! Lovely, lovely, lovely!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: Oh wow! That was such a nice review! Thank you!
You have definitely helped clear up any doubts I had about the flow of the story, so that's very good :)

Also, I will definitely in the future look at breaking my paragraphs up! And of course maybe edit this chapter later on and sort out the 'I' issue, I did read through it again and it was a bit distracting

Thankyou so much for you review and time!


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