Aw.. I really think I will have to go back and read book one, won't I? I presume you are eventually going to explain in this novel, and as this is a lot shorter, I think I will persist with this for a little longer, see if I can nut out the secrets rose is referring to!
I really really enjoy your writing style, you dialogue is great, the conversation is great and the story is flowing really well.
I am really glad for some reason that Hugo made an appearance in this chapter. He wasn't necessary, but he added a depth to the chapter which was kinda fun and realistic. I do like the comment "You aren't going to Read it are you" and Rose's reply. It made me laugh out loud!
Hermione wanting extra textbooks was so typical of Hermione, and I loved seeing the return of Rita. (The character we all love to hate) They were great.
I thought the offhand mention that Hugo may be a Huffle or a Griff was actually really well thought out. It makes us as a reader wonder if that is just sibling teasing, or is there something else that is different about Hugo? It is an interesting hint to leave with us.
You asked for feedback on the article and letters, and that is probably where most of the constructive criticism lies. The first Article, was really really good, it sounded like Rita. In fact the first paragraph is so typically Rita, it made me laugh. Of course she would reference her previous article.
Having comments by Phyllis King again was typical of Rita.
Because Rose threw the article away, I am not sure whether we are only half-way threw the article or we have completed it, but it would not be a Rita article with some kind of speculation on possible dramas or catastrophes that could be looming in the future due to oh, McGonagall's incompetence or similar.
I felt that the second article didn't "sound" like Rita quite as well though. I dont know quite why, it is a difficult thing to define, I will give some examples of sentenecs that dont quite ring Rita, but they may not be the actual problem, it may be the context they are in as opposed to the words them selves.
"No-one is denying that REmus is a hero"
"My concern, shared with the community" - actually that one I can put my finger on. I don't think Rita is actually concerned, EVER, about the issues she writes about. She is concerned about the readers right to know stuff though.
I think the last line there - the "IT remains to be seen" sounds like classic Rita again.
The last letter by Alicia is kinda cute. I loved seeing Alicia's name pop back in, and beign reminded of the familiar events of the past, it just made me happy!
Overall, really excited to continue reading it. Will finish this one, then probably go back to your first, cause you have an excellent writing style which makes things an absolute pleasure to read! Well done!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the wonderful detailed review.
Glad you liked the dialogue and what we see of Hugo here.
Thank you so much for the comments on Rita's articles. It is HARD to write like her. I'm glad you thought the first article sounded like her.
And yeah, I think you're right that Rita wouldn't say she was concerned herself. I think I'll change that to something like "what I fear will concern many readers". I'll definitely take a look over that second article again.
Thanks again for all your compliments and for the constructive criticism also. I'm actually grinning as I read this and I hope you enjoy the rest of it.
I actually can't remember if Dora's secret is ever directly explained in this story. Rose definitely makes reference to it here and there, but I can't remember if she says what it is or not.