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Review:academica says:
Hello, here with your requested review :)

I thought you did a great job with the psychological elements of this story. I can tell that you researched some symptoms in developing your main character and exploring her reactions to what she's been through. The symptoms of depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress seemed to make sense, and I liked how you blended them all together in this one-shot to create a portrait of a truly disturbed girl. For example, I really liked the theme of "breathe" that you threaded throughout the story, including in the chapter title. I also felt like the flashback was folded in pretty seamlessly and didn't seem to interrupt the flow of the story.

When you first requested this, I was very intrigued by the summary and curious about how you would make it work as a one-shot with such a mysterious premise. I thought you did a nice job giving enough details to fill in the skeleton of the story without bogging the story down with excessive information, as some authors tend to do. For example, the way Samantha described Frank II as being the son of a man who conquered a Basilisk was a great demonstration of how big Neville's legend has become.

The one thing that I felt was still a bit wanting was an explanation of why Frank II was so evil. I couldn't help but remember Draco, who was clearly an antagonist but couldn't muster up the courage to murder someone; it seems like it would take a lot for someone to so callously ruin another person's life. I think the story would benefit from some more back story in that regard, perhaps by making this a two-shot and letting us explore Frank's POV in the aftermath of Samantha's confession. (Maybe she could even get a happy ending, poor girl!)

I didn't spot any technical errors, so that's a good thing, and as I mentioned the flow was pretty good here. I liked the theme of Samantha taking power back in spite of her "shameful" half-blood heritage. Overall, I think you did a nice job with the story.

Hope this review is helpful!

-Amanda

Author's Response: Wow, I'm floored. Thank you so much for your amazing review! I was so nervous about posting this so I'm really glad it's gone over so well.

You're right about Frank and it seems like a lot of people want to know his story! I do have his story and will probably make it into another one shot that could be a stand alone piece or a sequel to this one.

Again, thank you so much! Your review was incredibly helpful! :)


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